Staring into my soul, Dixon whispered, “He is?”
“Yeah.”
“What kinds of stories?”
“Well, he’s only personally told me one about the fish in the lake by his house and all the silly stuff they get up to, but my friend Everlea has a son, and sometimes the boys play together at the park.Her son’s a few years older than Stu, I think, but Everlea says Stu can jibber jabber with the best of them.She says he’s a hoot.”
“God.I’ve missed so much.What else?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but that’s all I’ve got.He comes into the store with his da—I mean your brother every now and again, and he always gives me a hug.”
“It’s okay,” Dixon said.“BaxisStu’s dad.All I am is his DNA donor.I didn’t raise my kid.I didn’t hold him when he was scared or couldn’t sleep.He thinks I’m his uncle.”
“But you’re back now.You’ll make it right, won’t you?”
As a rush of warm, slow wind caressed us, he shrugged.“I want to, but I’m not sure I know how.I can’t take Stu away from Bax.I won’t do anything to hurt my son, but then how can I be a dad to him?He can’t have two dads.”
“Why not?I think he’d be lucky to have two devoted dads who love him like crazy.I wished my whole life for a dad, but two?That’d be like winnin’ the lottery.There’s gotta be a way for all of you to coexist and love Stu together.”
“Maybe,” Dixon mumbled in a gruff voice that told me he wasn’t so sure he believed me, but then he tilted his head, and the look on his face turned wistful.“You’re still a ball of light to my dark, you know that?”
“I am?”I asked as I watched him lick his lips.
“Yeah, and I wanna kiss you right now.”
That admission had my eyes rising to meet his gaze.He leaned down and tucked my hair behind my ear, letting his other hand cup my jaw.
“That okay?”
I couldn’t speak, so I nodded slowly, thinking for years I’d imagined what his lips would feel like on mine, and now I would know.Those years between us didn’t matter.The bruises on his soul, and on mine, didn’t matter.
I needed him to kiss me like I’d never needed anything in my life.
“Please,” I breathed, and his hair brushed over his shoulders and tickled my chin as he pulled me closer.I closed my eyes and pressed up on my toes until I felt his soft, wet skin on mine, and when my knees went weak, he wrapped his arms around my back and held me up.
Expecting simple lip-on-lip action, I was utterly surprised when his tongue swept into my mouth.He tilted his head andreallykissed me, and butterflies began to flutter deep inside.
Suddenly, I was fifteen again, and he was my ex-best friend, the one I watched every day at lunch with his friends, talking about rodeos and hunting.But he was also the same guy I’d noticed sneaking off to hide in the back of the gym when he was having a bad day, the one I’d wanted to comfort but didn’t know how.
“AJ,” he groaned, bringing me back to the present, “you taste like heaven.”
A moan was my only response as he kissed me harder, pulling my body against his.His hands snaked through my hair, his fingers molding to the shape of me, and he held me there, trapped in his embrace with no escape.
But the last thing I wanted was to get away from him.I felt his erection under his jeans, pressing against my belly, and tried to pull him closer, too, with my hands on his arms so I could better feel the desire he felt for me.
Kissing him and wanting him felt a little dangerous.I knew he’d lived a harder life than me, had been in jail, and was an addict.But I also knew his soul.He and I had been connected since childhood, so I didn’t need him to tell me he was sober.I knew it in my heart, and I knew he was fighting like hell to be a good man.
“Stop,” he whispered.“You have to stop this.I don’t think I can.”His mouth moved to my neck, and he licked and groaned and tucked his nose in my hair while his hands moved lower down my back.
“I don’t wanna stop.”
“We have to,” he murmured, rubbing himself against me now, not trying at all to hide his desire.
Sex had been seriously lacking in my life.I hadn’t been with a man since Cody, which meant I hadn’t been properly screwed in way too long, maybe ever, and now that the image of Dixon and me tangled up under my bed sheets had worked its way beneath my skin, I wanted to be properly fucked.Damn if I couldn’t imagine the kind of hard, angsty fucking Dixon would give me.
“Come home with me,” I breathed against his lips, feeling their wet warmth and trying not to rut myself against him.“We can help each other sleep.”
“No.”
