By the time I lock up at six, I'm exhausted. Luke offers to drive me home, but I wave him off. I need the walk. Need the air. Need to clear my head of thoughts I shouldn't be having about a man I can't have.
The evening is warm, the sky turning orange and pink. I walk the three blocks to my apartment with my hands in my pockets and my mind determinedly blank.
I'm almost home when my phone buzzes.
Unknown number. I almost don't answer, but something makes me swipe to accept.
"Hello?"
"It's Ethan." His voice is quiet, careful. "I got your number from Luke's phone. Hope that's okay."
My heart does that thing again. That stupid, inconvenient thing.
"It's okay," I hear myself say.
"I wanted to..." He trails off. I wait. The silence stretches.
"Wanted to what?" I finally ask.
"Thank you. For the donuts. For the coffee. For..." Another pause. "Everything."
I don't know what to say to that. Don't know what "everything" means. Don't know if I want to know.
"You're welcome," I manage.
"Callie."
"Yeah?"
He doesn't say anything for a long moment. I can hear him breathing on the other end of the line. I can picture him standing in his cabin, phone pressed to his ear, trying to find words for something that shouldn't be said.
"Nothing," he finally says. "Goodnight."
He hangs up before I can respond.
I stand on the sidewalk outside my apartment building, phone still pressed to my ear, staring at nothing.
This is a problem.
This is a big problem.
And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.
2
ETHAN
Ihang up before I say something I can't take back.
The phone feels heavy in my hand. I set it on the counter and stare at the kitchen window. My reflection stares back. I look tired. I am tired.
I shouldn't have called her.
The thought doesn't help. I called her anyway. Got her number off Luke's phone when he went to the bathroom at Miller's Bar last week. Told myself I'd delete it. Told myself a lot of things that turned out to be lies.
I pull a beer from the fridge and take it out to the porch. The sun is setting over the trees, painting everything gold and red. It's beautiful, but I don't care.
All I can think about is Callie's voice on the phone. The way she said "yeah" when I said her name. Like she was bracing for something. Like she knew what I wasn't saying.
