A child who never knew her mother’s love or warmth or kindness.
“I just sort of get in my head,” Vale whispers, head still lowered, gaze on my thighs. Her hand continues to rest in mine, I’m just not certain she even feels my fingers wrapped around hers.
“What happens in your head?” I keep my voice equally low. Patient like she’d been with me. Giving her time to warm up, to process, before she answers.
Vale closes her eyes. “There’s a whole psychology behind it. Some people have high excitement. They are easily aroused.”
She flicks a quick glance at me before looking away again.
“But without high intention, they can’t get to the finish line. Things like ‘I’m taking too long’ or ‘will someone hear me’ or ‘does he really want to do this’ get in the way.”
She purses her lips and twists them side to side. “It’s common in couples with kids. One partner or the other worries about the kids interrupting them or walking in, and they can’t keep their head in the moment.”
“So in your head . . .” I wave my hand near my ear. “You start questioning everything.”
When Vale doesn’t answer, I add scenarios. “Like you worry that someone won’t be patient for what you need? Or someone doesn’t want to do what he is already doing with you?”
Vale tips up one shoulder, dismissing the situations.
Fuck, Vale, I want to scream.
She pinches her lips tight before stating, “I’m like my own cockblocker.”
Then she whips her head back, eyes wide but blinking up at the overhead light. Her throat rolls, exposing a deep swallow. “And why are we even talking about this? This is your therapy session.” She tips her head forward. “Yourmassagetherapy session.”
As I’m momentarily stuck on the roll of her throat, where I wanted to lick up the column, suck at her skin, and then lay her out on this table and show her how patient I can be with her, how very much I want to do anything she’ll let me do to her, it takes me a minute to respond.
“Just to be clear, I did want you that day.” Fuck, I want her now, but not like this. Not with her so raw and vulnerable. “I wanted to do what we did, and I’m sorry I didn’t focus more on you.” I’m sorry I didn’t take more time, more care.
I was such an idiot.
Shaking my head, I glance down at how Vale’s fingers fit with mine, and how our hands kind of dance together, exploring the heat of palm-to-palm contact. Lifting our fingers only to lower them back together again. I’ve never been a hand holder, and yet I don’t want to let go of Vale.
“What happens when you’re alone?”
Vale’s eyes widen. “What do you mean?”
While the question might be intrusive, I power on, desperate for anything she’ll give me in the way of answers. “When you are by yourself and use your toys.”
“What toys?” she tilts her head.
I mirror her position. “Okay, Sterlet.”Don’t play coy with me.
“How do you know about that?” she gasps. Her brows lift. The sheen in her eyes from moments ago is gone.
“Doesn’t everyone know about that?” I tease, knowingIhadn’t until a few weeks ago.
“That’s . . . personal.” Her throat rolls again, and my mouth waters once more. The tension between us shifts from heavy topics and harsh realities to arousing . . . and alluring.
Because I want to be the one to help Vale explore where she can go if she only gets out of her head. I can be patient. It’s been twelve years of denying any attraction I’ve felt toward her.
A new clock is ticking. One that is ours.
“I could help you.”
“Cort.” She chokes on a bitter chuckle while shaking her head.
“Look, you said you need time and patience, and I have plenty of it.” Although, I’m acting impatient now. “And you’ve done so much for me. I want to do for you.”
