I stare at Josh, knowing I didn’t make it work. I married Bailey because I thought I should, and she saw my future in professional football. If she hadn’t wanted Josh from the start, I never had a clue until after he was born. Until her life changed significantly while mine hardly did, other than a seven day work week, with either practice or games, including travel and media runs. She’d been alone, a lot.
Reaching forward, I cover Josh’s hand. “I’m here for you, for whatever you decide to do.” I swallow thickly before adding my advice. “I don’t recommend marriage without love, Josh.”
He stares back at me, knowing all the reasons why it’s a bad idea.
“If you can be amicable with one another and want to co-parent, I’ll help any way I can. And if you decide to stand by her while she has the baby, and then raise your child on your own, you will never be alone, Josh. You got me? We’ll figure it out. Together.”
I don’t want him or his partner to have regrets. But I also want Josh to know he has my support.
He nods once before pinching at his eyes and stroking down his nose then glancing up at me. “I didn’t know who else to talk to.”
“That’s why I’m here.” I round the island and hold out my arms again, while he shifts on the stool. Tucking my grown boy into my chest, I lower my head to his and hold onto him, wishing I could turn back time in so many ways. Erase every misstep. But I can’t. And the one thing I’d never trade is him. I can only support him now and in his future.
I press a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you, bud.”
“I know, Dad. I love you, too.” He pulls out of my embrace and reaches for his beer again. Tipping the bottle toward my bedroom, he says, “I guess I’ll let you get back to . . . you know.”
“Easy there, buddy.” I point at him, teasingly.
“Wow, Dad. A girlfriend? I never thought I’d see the day.”
I chuff but can’t help the smile curling my lips.
“Love looks good on you.” He smiles as well.
I could argue that I’m not in love, but the truth is written all over my face.
When I climb on top of my bed, Vale is tucked under my covers, the hint of my jersey on her arms above the blankets. I wrap myself around her.
“Everything okay?” she asks, sleepily.
“I—” I swallow thickly, scared out of my mind for Josh. “I’m going to be a grandpa.” I can hardly say the word.
Vale spins in my arms. The soft glow of the lamp on the nightstand gives a halo effect around her blond hair.
“What?”
I quickly relay what Josh told me.
“Oh, sweetie. This could be a great thing,” she eventually says.
And it could be.It will be. Josh will not be alone in whatever decision he makes.
Vale sits up a little bit, pressing her back into the pillows and tugs my head to her chest, stroking her fingers over my hair. “And here my biggest concern was what you would tell Josh about me?”
I chuckle bitterly, because my son does have bigger issues. “I told him the truth. You’re my girlfriend.”
Vale stops stroking and cups my face, so I tilt my head and look at her. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” I quip before softening the words with a smile. “And one day, I want everyone to know.”
Not that we need to broadcast the news and announce it on social media, but I don’t want to always sneak off to my home for time with her or worry that someone will pop up and catch us. I want to hold her hand and not be concerned about whosees it happen. I don’t care about their opinions, other than one man, and only because of how he’ll react toward Vale.
“I don’t want us to be a secret, Vale.”
“I don’t either,” she admits.
And it’s time to stand up for ourselves.
