Then Delphine’s steely gaze was back. ‘One week of intensive training. Dawn lessons, technique work, competition preparation, here, down the shore –’ Delphine pointed along the beach – ‘where Antoine doesn’t teach. You will be ready, whether he agrees or not.’
And behind the excitement, doubts crept in. ‘What if I fail?’
‘What if you do not?’ Lili smiled at me and a confidence surged in my stomach. I smiled back at her gratefully.
‘Even if you do fail,’ said Delphine, ‘which you will not if you listen to me, you will fail doing something that matters to you. And that is better than not trying at all.’
I nodded at her. She was right. And it was nice, this space in my head where it was just about surfing. Just about me, and what I could do.
‘Think about it tonight. If you decide to do it, then meet me at six a.m. tomorrow.’
Antoine’s time.
I pushed him out of my head and bit my lip in concentration, already imagining surfing in my first competition.
‘And, Margot?’ Delphine broke me out of my thoughts.
‘Yeah?’
‘Never let someone else’s fear decide your future,’ Delphine said. And I could tell that she really meant it.
The walk back to the campsite felt like breathing space. A chance to focus on myself. On surfing. And to make my remaining time in France about my own goals and dreams instead of the constant gnawing guilt I felt about the mess I’d found myself in.
27
Back at the caravan, I was filled with optimism. I sat down at the outside table and took out my phone.
ME: Hey … I’ve been thinking about our last conversation
ME: I’m sorry. I was so pissed off about other stuff and it just felt like you weren’t being supportive. But maybe, when I think about it, you were just worried about me?
ME: Oh, and someone has offered to train me for this competition next week.
PRIYAis typing
My stomach sank every time the writing disappeared as she started the message again and again.
PRIYA: God Margot! I was SO worried about you. You KNOW I’m living for the resurrection of Margot of Christmas past … Just promise me you’ll be careful?
That made me laugh. God, I missed her.
ME: I will. But enough about me, what’s going on with you?
PRIYA: Never mind me, tell me about this French boy you had a date with …
ME: OMG it’s so complicated. But it turns out that he was the one who pulled me from the water …
PRIYA: Shut up! Are you serious?
ME: Yeah … but there’s something else … There’s this other French boy …
PRIYA: Oh here we go, of course there is
So I phoned her and told her everything. And it all just came out. Everything that had been in my head lately. Myrollercoaster feelings for Felix, the chemistry with Antoine, and it ended with my head still a complete and utter mess. But I felt better than I did before.
I spent the rest of the afternoon helping Rue do her stretches, cleaning sand from her splints and sitting with her and Wren, watching cartoons and eating snacks.
I looked up women surfers on my phone and we watched YouTube videos of them tearing up the waves.
