I am sorry. Cannot teach today
Do not surf alone, wait for Delphine’s group lesson at 10.
Antoine
Right then, I wished we’d exchanged numbers. But it had never come up, and although I’m sure he must have one, I never saw Antoine with a phone. He was never walking around staring into a screen like everyone did back home.
The condescension stung.Do not surf alone– as if all thelessons, all the praise, all the chemistry meant nothing, and I was just some tourist who’d taken one lesson. No explanation. Just orders. Had the connection all been in my head? Those lingering touches. Was I imagining everything? The electricity? The way him touching my hand felt like he’d lit a match in my veins and my whole body was on fire? But what if … it was just me who felt this way?
I pulled the note from the wall and crumpled it in my hand, leaving it on the sand in front of the door.
I turned round and dug my foot into the sand in frustration. I stared out at the waves. Small. Manageable.Do not surf alone.Ugh! I wasn’t about to let Antoine tell me what to do. Not when he wasn’t even here. He didn’townthe beach.
I took off my denim shorts and sliders and walked towards the sea with the board under my arm, the cord round my ankle.
I put it down in the water and took a deep breath. I jumped on the board and paddled out, just like I’d done yesterday and the day beforeandthe day before. And it was easy, catching the little waves that rushed to the shore. The adrenaline was back, turning my body into something charged with electricity. I sat on the board and stared out at the ocean. At the sun that was rising, at the other surfers in the water, who were so far down the beach that they were barely visible. Something about this moment just feltright.
So I went deeper, hunting for a bigger wave.
I watched them come in. The sets. Let myself float over the first few, waiting for one that felt right.
And there it was, the perfect wave. I paddled hard, pulling mycupped hands through the water, chin up. I popped up, leaned on my back foot and did everything Antoine told me. I used my speed and let the feeling take over entirely. I was hooked.
I caught another wave, and another. Soon my arms and legs were aching. I wasn’t ready to stop. But when I looked back to the shore, I had to squint. It was further away than it had been. Likea lotfurther away. I looked down the beach and couldn’t see the other surfers at all any more. I was drifting out. I tried to paddle back towards shore, but I was barely moving, and my arms were so tired.
Shit.
What did Antoine say about rip currents? I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to remember. And then I was there, standing on the sand, with Antoine so close behind me I could almost hear his heartbeat.
‘And you see where the waves are not breaking? Look, there is a calm bit right there … That is yourbaïne.Rip current. It can be dangerous. Sometimes people panic and they try to swim against it, but you mustneverpanic.’
Calm. I had to calm down.
I tried again, paddling towards the shore. But I just wasn’t moving anywhere. I thought about Mum, Dad, Rue and Wren asleep in the mobile home.
How could I be so fucking stupid?
‘Help!’ I called. To who? I couldn’t see anyone and the shore was getting further and further away.
Parallel.
So I turned my board, tried to regulate my breathing and started to paddle across instead of head on. But, just as I did,a huge wave smashed down on top of me like a ton of bricks and I was dragged under the water.
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe, and all I could hear was the roar of the water around me.
It was too strong.
I couldn’t compete with the waves.
23
I woke with a surge of nausea, followed by a gasp for air. My eyes were open, but my vision was blurred. I coughed and felt a hand on my back. A person. People around me in orange vests, but I couldn’t make out who they were. My head ached.
I gulped the air, reaching out with sudden, jerking movements, as if I was falling.
‘It is OK, Margot.’ A voice. A voice I knew.
I looked to my right and Antoine came into view. He was leaning down beside me. I glanced around at the other faces looking down at me. Sébastian, Lili and Delphine.
