‘Bien sûr.Of course,’ he said, translating for her.
I looked at Mum and Dad, who seemed delighted with the plan.
We ordered our food, and while we were waiting, Felix tapped me on the shoulder, before leaning in to whisper in my ear. ‘Can I speak with you a moment?’
I stood up and followed Felix to a quiet space beside the bar.
‘I am sorry if that was too much, meeting your family and telling them about the restaurant.’ Felix’s hand was in his hair, and I reached up and took it, bringing it down and holding it in mine between us.
‘Don’t worry, Rue has already invited you to our house and I think my mum and dad wereenchantés,’ I said. ‘Oh, and I had my first surf lesson,’ I added, and I couldn’t help myself from smiling at the memory of impressing Antoine with my ocean-watching. I’d been looking forward to telling Felix all about it.
‘Oh yeah?’ Felix moved to wipe a table. And that hollowed-out feeling of disappointment was back. The one that showed up when I expected someone to react differently. Like I’d had it all decided in my head, then it was the total opposite.
‘Yeah. Just on the sand, but maybe tomorrow I can go in the water.’ I was struggling to keep up the excited tone I’d led with.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ Felix asked, still not looking at me. What was this? Was he not interested? In the surfing … or me?
‘Yeah, I loved it. But some girl, Lili I think her name was, she invited me to a bonfire at the beach tonight with the surf school. Maybe we could go together?’ I felt weird now. Uncomfortable, self-conscious. He was wringing out the cloth in his hands. Hard. So hard the muscles in his forearms tensed.
‘Antoine Laurent’s surf school?’
I nodded. ‘You know him?’
‘Biarritz is not a big place. But those parties, they can beun peu intense.’ He made a face to himself that I couldn’t read and shook his head.
‘Oh, OK. Are you sure?’ I asked, my stomach lurching at the ‘no’ he’d given me so quickly. ‘It’s not until later, so maybe you’ll change your mind.’ I smiled playfully.
‘Not tonight. Sorry,’ he said simply.
‘Is everything OK?’ I asked, struck by his sudden change of mood.
‘Tomorrow, I have time off work. If you are free, I would like to show you Saint-Jean-de-Luz, the town where my mother sells soap, if you remember?’ Felix looked at me hopefully.
‘I’d like that,’ I said. It made sense about the party, I guess – he’d have been working all day and evening. He’d probably be too tired. He’d asked me out tomorrow. It was fine.
‘I should get back to work. But I will see you tomorrow? At ten?’
‘You will see me at ten,’ I said, nodding. ‘Meet here?’ He grinned, and his uncomfortable reaction to the bonfire felt like a distant memory.
‘Bon.And, Margot? There was something else I wanted to say to you.’ He scanned the restaurant, before turning to me again.
I inhaled and looked into the brown eyes that were flecked with gold. ‘Yeah?’
‘Last night atles tournesols… I have lived here my whole life. I have seen so many sunsets. But not one was as beautiful as it was when you were with me … and I know you are onlyhere for the summer, but I want you to know that you are already important to me.’
I couldn’t help but feel elated as the words flooded my body, filling the hollow with a relief that cascaded right through me. I took his hand again and squeezed it, had a brief look around to make sure Mum and Dad weren’t looking, then kissed him gently, my hand on his jaw, and I felt him relax into me, our mouths in sync, the buzz of the restaurant fading into nothing.
‘And, Margot,’ he added again, like he’d forgotten something. ‘I am not asking for promises. I know better than that. I just do not want to waste the time we have, pretending that it is just for the summer. It already feels like something more to me.’
Worry filled his eyes. Like he’d said something horribly wrong. But his words made my whole body warm, a warmth that had nothing to do with the heat of the sun. It was a heat that grew from inside, spreading through my veins like an antidote to a sickness.
‘Margot!’ Rue’s voice called across the restaurant. ‘Food!’
I looked round, before looking back at Felix.
‘It feels like that to me too.’ I kissed him gently again, squeezed his hand and walked back to my family, knowing in that moment that something had changed. The warm air fizzed with excitement. With possibility and understanding. Whatever happened next, we could discover it together.
13
