‘What I noticed was that there was a split second when you stood up on the board and I could see that you were not thinking any more. You were only feeling. Where everything around you disappears, and you had not even gone into the water. I am right?’ He cocked his head and studied my face as I tried not to give away the fact that he could not have been more right.
‘Peut-être,’ I said with a shrug. I didn’t smile. Two of us could play that game. He was just so sure of himself. And I wasn’t giving him anything else to feed his ego.
‘Maybe you do want a lesson?’ he asked, looking down at me over his sunglasses.
‘Why would I want a lesson?’ I shot back, too quickly. Because behind the desperation not to let him be right, I couldn’t ignore the longing. The one that tugged on something inside me, begging me to follow it. Into the water.
‘It is up to you. But I will be here. Tomorrow. Early. Maybe six thirty?’
He let the question linger in the hot air. I scanned around to look for Rue and Wren, trying to buy myself some time. But by the time I’d seen them digging a hole and looked back at Antoine, he’d turned away from me and started walking back towards the hut.
I guess that was that then.
10
I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon chilling out with Mum and Dad. Well, really, I just sat there as Rue told them every single detail of her surf lesson with Antoine. And it was nice to see her so excited given that she had an operation looming over her. Maybe it was a little kid thing, or maybe just a Rue thing, but she didn’t dwell on the heavy stuff, and she had more to deal with than any of us.
‘I’m away for a shower,’ I announced. Butterflies fluttered gently in my stomach when I thought about the date with Felix. I’d never actually been on a proper date with Theo. We’d just hung out. And more often than not, it was the three of us. I’d once suggested going for dinner somewhere, just us, and I cringed at the memory of his laugh, which played like a scratched record in my head. I shook the thought away and had a shower, washing away all the sand and salt that clung to my skin from earlier.
After, I lay on my bed and picked up my phone. I’d stopped myself from doing it since I’d seen Ella’s Snap, because I knew I would hate whatever it showed me, but I broke. I went straight to Insta and on to Theo’s account. His story was ashot of his Xbox with the caption ‘When she says she doesn’t game … then destroys you … .’
And as if the ‘she’ wasn’t enough of a hint, I saw Ari’s black leather cuff on the edge of Theo’s bed.
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to erase the picture from my head. Instinctively I opened WhatsApp and went to Priya’s messages.
I sent her a picture that I’d taken of the beach earlier. It was beautiful. The endless stretch of the sand, the sparkling water, surfers on white-capped waves.
ME: Remembering our plan to swim across Belfast Lough that never happened … maybe this would have been a better plan.
Priya sent back an image of the outside of the local leisure centre – looking even more run-down than the last time I’d been there – under an overcast sky.
PRIYA: That looks amazing. Not jealous at all. You doing much training?
ME: Training? What’s that?
PRIYA: That doesn’t sound like the Margot I know … knew
ME: Nah. No lanes here. Just waves
PRIYA: Shame. I thought that maybe the old Margot was back.
And that stung. A series of pinpricks in my chest, like my body was making sure I didn’t skim over her words. And I didn’t even know how to reply. But I didn’t have to, because Priya typed something else that made my throat tight.
PRIYA: How’s Theo? Is he there too?
My mind flashed to the Insta story. To Ari’s leather cuff. To the Snap of her straddling him, his hands round her waist, like they’d been doing that forever. Maybe they had. I took a deep breath.
ME: Actually, me and Theo broke up. Well, sort of. Ella sent me a snap of Ari all over him … It’s so embarrassing …:(
PRIYA: Oh Margot, that sucks. I’m sorry. Are you OK?
ME: Yeah. I think so. I’ve kind of been hanging out with this French guy …
PRIYA: Tell me more!
ME: I will, but I’ve got to go get ready, for a date :)
PRIYA: You better report back! Bet it’s more exciting than me and Cal’s date to see the new Marvel …
