‘Bye.’
And I didn’t know how I felt. Empty? I thought if I just talked to Priya, everything would be fixed. But it was weird, and kind of awkward. I mean, I got it, of course I did. It wasmyfault. Not hers. I guess I’d made my bed.
I zoned out watching TikTok videos for a few minutes, then it was time to take Rue and Wren to the beach. I was kind of hoping Mum and Dad would take them, but Rue insisted that only I was allowed to go.
Rue talked non-stop on the way there. She was so excited.It was quite a long walk for her, and Mum had convinced her to wear her splints, so they were probably rubbing in the heat, but you wouldn’t know.
‘You OK?’ I asked.
‘I’m fine!’ Rue almost shouted back as we arrived at the beach half an hour before the lesson, like we’d been told. The sand was full of sunbathers and there were groups of kids learning how to surf in the water.
I squinted in the sun towards the beach hut by the sand dunes. Wren stood beside me as Rue walked on ahead. I could see the surf guy Antoine talking to some other dude, surrounded by kids messing around.
When we got to the hut, Rue could barely contain herself with excitement. She went straight up to Antoine and tapped him on the back.
He pretended to be scared, and she laughed. So did Wren, but she was still stuck to my side.
‘My surfers are here!’ Antoine grinned. I watched him glance at Rue’s legs, where the pink splints stabilized her lower legs. ‘One minute.’
Antoine looked up at me briefly as he came over. He was wearing black board shorts today with his aviators. That was it.
He bent down to talk to Wren. ‘You are excited for your lesson?’
‘I’m a bit scared,’ Wren admitted, twisting her foot in the sand.
‘Ahnon! Do not be scared. I will be here all the time to make sure that you are safe. Safety is very important to me. Themostimportant thing.’ Antoine smiled so warmly that itfelt like a completely different person who had been so rude to me.
‘You promise?’ Wren asked. I could tell that she’d relaxed from her smile.
‘Cross my heart.’ He traced over his heart with his finger. ‘Croix de bois, croix de fer, si je mens, je vais en enfer.’ And Wren tried to repeat it.
‘Are you ready?’ Rue asked, tapping Antoine again, this time on the shoulder. He spun round.
‘Almost.’ He stood up, walked over to me, took my arm and led me a few metres down the beach. I thought about wrenching my arm away, but for some reason, I liked how it felt. The shock of some kind of current rushing through my whole body when he touched me. He let go when we were away from all the kids but surrounded by sunbathers.
‘Your sister. She hasles attelles.’ Antoine motioned to his legs.
‘Splints. She has cerebral palsy, they help stabilize her legs when she’s walking. But she doesn’t wear them in the water.’
‘Ah OK,la paralysie cérébrale.’ He stared at Rue, thinking for a second as she waited impatiently beside Wren. ‘Bon.We will adapt a few things. I will take your sisters myself and Sébastian can take the other children. You will watch from the sand.’
‘Em. Yeah. Thanks,’ I said, not happy about beingtoldto watch from the sand, which I was going to do anyway, but so happy about the way he talked about Rue’s disability. Or maybe it was because of the things hedidn’tsay. Sometimes when I told people what she had, you’d get this sympathy face and stock phrases about things being ‘so hard’ or a millionother variations of that. And maybe that would be OK if it was a different kid, but Rue didn’t want people feeling sorry for her; she wanted to be the best at everything she could.
I leaned against the beach hut and watched their whole lesson. How Antoine helped Rue take off her splints and helped her and Wren on to big foam boards on the sand.
Sébastian was the guy he’d been talking to earlier. Tall, thin, with long, blonde, beachy hair and a goofy smile. He was on the other side of the hut with the other children, and they were all laughing about something he was saying, or maybe just laughing at him when he pretended to fall over, it was hard to tell. I turned back to Antoine and the girls.
He made them sit on the surfboards on the beach, practising balance. Then he got them to lie down, helping Rue gently. And she didn’t complain when he did. Then he made them stand up beside the boards, while he scanned around him. Then his eyes landed on me.
‘The sister. I need you for a second. Please.’ He waved me over, and I looked behind me in case he was looking at somebody else.
‘Who, me?’ I asked as I got up and walked towards them.
‘Yes. You. You are the sister? Lie down. Please.’ The please an afterthought.
Antoine motioned to the board, and I replied with a shrug. And he just stood there and waited until I did what he said. I lay down face first on the board, feeling like a total idiot.
‘OK. Girls, watch your sister. It is easier to watch someone try, so I can show you the mistakes.’
