“What, she made you read an entire script and feed back on it late on a Friday night so she could go out?” Bex said witheringly. “God. She’s a special kind of bitch.”
I’d already decided I couldn’t lie about this. Not to Bex. “Not exactly. It seemed like the sort of thing I should be doing to get ahead so I said I’d do it.”
Bex’s glass froze mid-arc in its descent to the table. “Youvolunteered?”
Tiramisu slid down my throat like wet cement. “Well, yeah, it was a good opportunity.”
Bex’s eyes glittered. “It’s my birthday, Lucie, you couldn’t have offered to pick it up on Monday?”
“RJ needed feedback tonight.” I lowered my spoon apprehensively. Bex always understood what I was up against at work, what was different now?
“AndIneededyoutonight.” Bex’s voice hitched. “I know how hard you work, and how tough you’ve had it, but you couldn’t have put me first, just one time?”
“Look, I’m really sorry, I wanted to be here.” I could hear how hollow my justification sounded.
“Not enough, apparently,” Bex muttered.
Dan covered her hand with his. “Don’t get upset.”
“Too late,” Bex shot back.
“Bex, you said it yourself; I have to move up, professionally,” I said. “I can’t be an assistant all my life and this could be my chance.”
“But what madethischance different to all the other ones?” Bex demanded. “When we had to cancel that Dublin weekend because Lin needed you to arrange that last-minute event for some obnoxious twat in Berlin? Or when we had to find a new flat and I did all the hunting because you were tied up preparing for a pitch? Has your career advanced thanks to that? And you missed … you missed something big.” Bex shot a sideways glance at Dan and took a deep breath, lifting left hand. “This isn’t the way I envisioned telling you but … we’re engaged.”
There, on Bex’s neatly manicured ring finger, was a huge diamond, surrounded by brilliant blue stones. I grabbed her hand to inspect it closely – it was perfect. Elegant and stylish, just like her. Happy tears sprung to my eyes.
“Mate, congratulations! This is amazing, I’m so happy for you both!” All sense of tiredness was gone. “We should get champagne!”
Bex smiled tightly and pulled her hand away to gesture at the numerous drinks glasses that still littered the table, the silver bucket brimming with icy water.
“Ah. You already did.” Bex had probably waited for as long as she could for me to arrive before making the announcement and no doubt when she’d finally told everyone it had been a lovely moment. Yet I hadn’t been part of it, this milestone event. Even Tiff with her two kids had made it down from Luton to be part of it. I had chosen to stay in that poky office rather than be present for this importantannouncement and it was an experience I’d never get back. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Bex passed her hand over her face, the diamond twinkling in candlelight. “I’m sorry I kicked off. I’m just … I don’t know, Lucie, aren’t you, like, tired of this?”
I frowned. “Of what, missing parties?”
“Missing everything,” Bex said. “Life! Don’t you care?”
“Of course I care,” I said hotly. “And you know I wanted to be here.”
“Did you though?” she countered. “Because when the moment came, you chose your job over me.”
I gaped. She wasn’t wrong about me choosing work, but she also knew that was how things had to be for me. “Isn’t that a little dramatic? You know if I’d passed the opportunity up, another one might not come around again.”
Bex’s cheeks reddened. “You know what? I think it’s been six years of hard slog at that job and the fact that it’s going nowhere has been staring you in the face for at least five of those years. You’ve just been too stubborn to see it. Or maybe too scared, I don’t know.”
Her words were like a smack in the gut. “You think I’m scared? Of what?”
Dan cleared his throat. “Now why don’t we just—”
“No, let her talk,” I said through hot tears. “Say what you really think, Bex, come on.”
Bex swallowed a big gulp of champagne. “I think you’re holding yourself back. I think all the money problems you had after you first moved down here scared you so much you daren’t take any risk.”
“Can you blame me for being careful?” I said.
“No, I don’t blame you, but you’re so scared it’s stopping you from taking even the smallest moment to enjoy life, to be there for your people.” She rubbed a hand across her eyes.“You know, Dan proposed just before we set off for dinner and, God, I was going to call you then and there, but I thought no, I want to see Lucie’s face when I tell her. Getting married is huge and exciting and honestly, kind of terrifying. I need my best friend by my side. So, imagine how it feels to hear you say youchoseto not be here.”
