Noctis took a step closer on quiet feet, eyes pleading with the arachnids.
“Will she ever remember us?” he asked, the words soft and begging as if the oracles had a hand in the memory curse.
“She will remember enough when the time is right.”
Next, Calvin inched forward. “Will I ever get the chance?”
The center arachnid paused, eyes wandering across Calvin’s somber face—an expression I hadn’t seen across it. His eyes held sorrow and pity, hands rubbing the glistening sweat from his palms against his pants.
The spider’s lips tilted upwards. “You’ve both carried too much for far too long. Let this unfold on its own.”
The spiders turned in sync and crawled away, leaving us three in the forest, gasping and gawking for further answers. Unsatiated. I was so damn unsatiated.
With fury sharp and relentless, I stormed forward until a sudden hiss of pain reminded me of my shattered ankle. My head whirled with dizziness and nausea. Emotions flew through me like gnashing currents of the sea—an influx of information I was berating to uncover in my own mind. Calvin hurried to my side, steadying me by shifting his weight beneath again.
Noctis broke into a sprint to catch up.
“I couldn’t tell you about... us. I was going to, but you had already gone through so much. Please,” he begged.
I whirled, blade still in hand. The tip of the dagger rested above his clavicle. “You will tell me everything, but I will never trust you. And there isno us.” How dare he play gatekeeper to knowledge I deserved after all the hell I’d already endured.
Did he not think I was worthy to know about myself?
The god nodded once in agreement, his lips twitching in downward flinches. “I’ll earn it all back. One day at a time. One memory at a time. Until you remember it all. Until you remember us.”
Us.
I huffed and continued the staggering trek back to the ship. We knew what we needed to get into Shadeborne Bound, so my priorities were escaping the forest alive, not that his recollection of our past wasn’t appreciated.
Noctis used the eerie darkness to tell me everything I couldn’t remember. And each memory he shared, no recollection surged.
“You swam to shore the day you started questioning the sacrifices. Lively, excited,” Noctis started, the words roaming between reminiscence and dragging agony. “And when two Thirstlings tried to drain you, I heard your prayer. It was the first one I’d heard in decades.” He paused as if the reminder of that night physically hurt him to think about.
Thirstlings. That’s why the word sounded familiar before.
“You became aware of the Oricaan quickly on land. Just like you did all over again recently. They attacked another village, and you helped them all to safety. I thought I would lose you that day, too, but you fought hard. Your fury was going to burn the entire world, so I trained you with weapons of the Terraguard Bound—katanas, short swords, and your favorite… daggers. We spent many months together, so the day you ran away, I erupted. I thought I did something wrong, but when I searched the entire Bound and couldn’t find you, I knew you returned for vengeance against the Ocean Mother alone.”
He is lying. I would have remembered all of it as he recounted the memories, just like every other past event that flashed in my mind as images when they came back.
Our feet crunched dead leaves as we continued down the pathway, filling in the angry silence between words.
“She locked you in a dungeon.”Gods…I remembered rocking in the chamber. “I know, because I nearly died trying to reach you, even hiring a merfolk to commit treason just to lay eyes on you. You were so hurt. So near death. And I erupted. The day you became that decade’s sacrifice by rebelling, I shattered the leylines that carried sacrifices to the Royal Vanguard.”
I stopped cold in my tracks. That explained how I was lost in the ocean and crawled my way onto Zahara’s ship.
“You saved me?” I whispered.
“I don’t play by any rules, but for you, I’ll break every one.”
Something within my chest ached.
I didn't have the same memories as he did—the ones where we spent much time together. The god that stood before me was vicious and kept secrets that pertained to me. The Noctis I knew only became a part of my life less than a full day ago.
So, I turned and limped away. My heart ached at the possibility of lost love, that there was someone in the realms thatcared about me beyond what I could offer them. And for some reason, I wanted him to love me… but I also wanted to reciprocate it. Withholding knowledge only angered me, even if it was meant to protect me.
“If it’s any consolation, I really didn’t know you before you washed up on the ship. Total shock to me,” Calvin joked, and I cracked a smile.
“Thank you, Calvin, for beingtruthful,” I retorted with a glare over my shoulder at the god.
