‘I do?’ I raise an eyebrow.
‘Yes, of course, silly. Everyone needs a gimmick. Take me, for instance. I’m the plus-sized one, right?’
I look at her doubtfully. She might not be the slimmest of the women here, but I’m not sure I’d have described her as plus-sized, either; which makes me wonder how people who areactuallyplus-sized would be described in this influencer world, and whothey’resupposed to be influenced by?
‘Just in social media terms, obviously,’ she says impatiently. ‘It’s my gimmick. And I’m also short; so that’stwogimmicks.’
She smiles proudly, and I nod, not quite knowing what to say to this. Sheisquite short, I suppose. It’s weird to hear someone’s natural body type referred to as a gimmick, though.
‘So, maybe being average isyourgimmick,’ Millie goes on importantly, as if she’s imparting some great wisdom to me. ‘Maybe that’s the thing that will set you apart from everyone else. Think about it.’
She smiles brightly, and I nod again, wondering how on earth I’m supposed to stand out by being average. Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron? And what if I don’twantto have to have a gimmick? What if I just want to be myself, and not have to put on some act all the time? What then?
‘OK, this is where I leave you,’ says Sabrina, saving me from this train of thought as she addresses us from the front of the group. ‘This gentleman—’ she gestures towards Hunter, whose name I can tell she’s forgotten ‘—will be taking over from here. And Luna will be on hand if you need anything.’
‘Aren’t you coming with us, then?’ says the assistant, who looks even more terrified than usual.
‘God, no,’ says Sabrina, looking horrified at the thought. ‘I don’t do horses.’
‘Me neither,’ says Daniel Foster, who’s carrying his camera and tripod again. ‘I’ll be keeping my feet firmly on the ground; it’ll be easier to take photos of Bex that way.’
‘That’s not fair,’ puts in Zara. ‘None of the rest of us have someone to take photos of us on the ponies. You being here gives Bex an unfair advantage.’
‘You and Millie have been taking each other’s photos too,’ points out Yasmin, surprising everyone into silence again, simply by speaking. ‘That’s not fair either.’
‘You could’ve paired up with Wro— with Rosie,’ shoots back Zara.
‘Enough bickering, everyone,’ interrupts Sabrina. ‘Luna will take photos of all of you. Luna, you can stay on the ground to do it, with Mr Bex.’
Luna looks as relieved as if she’s just had a last-minute stay of execution. I can’t really blame her; I’ve got that feeling of foreboding hanging over me again, and I actuallylikehorses. I hate to think how much worse this would be if I didn’t.
‘Right, then,’ says Hunter, clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention. ‘If you could all choose a pony each, I’ll just quickly go over some safety information before we get started.’
We all move forward, some quicker than others. I select a sturdy little black gelding who has big, hairy fetlocks and the name Bramble embroidered onto the browband of his bridle. He turns and looks at me solemnly through his long lashes as I approach, and I stroke his velvety nose, enjoying the familiar, horsey smell of him.
Hunter walks around to the front of the group and gives a characteristically short speech about all sticking together and not making any sudden noises while Luna hands out safety helmets, which Bex and Millie both refuse to wear, until Hunter growls at them and threatens to cancel the expedition altogether.
‘Fine by me,’ says Bex, sounding close to tears. ‘That thing’s going to completely ruin my hair. It’ll look shit in the photos.’
‘Maybe Bex could just take hers off for a few minutes?’ says Daniel, stepping forward with the air of a man who’s here to save the day. ‘Just until we’ve got the shots we need. Then she can put it back on again? How does that sound?’
‘No,’ replies Hunter bluntly. Everyone waits for him to say something else; then, when he doesn’t, Daniel clears his throat importantly, preparing to take charge.
‘Just leave it off for now, babe,’ he says to Bex. ‘We’ll get the shots first, then—’
‘I said no,’ says Hunter, through gritted teeth. ‘Did you not hear me?’
‘Iheardyou,’ replies Daniel, making a face which suggests that listening to Hunter is physically painful to him. ‘But what I’msuggestingis that Bex just—’
‘WhatI’msuggesting is that Bex just wears the safety helmet, or she doesn’t come on the ride,’ says Hunter, his face thunderous. ‘Do I make myself clear?’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ spits Daniel, turning to Sabrina for backup, only to find she’s not there, having already stomped off in the direction of the hotel. ‘This is ridiculous. How are we supposed to get decent content if you’re going to force them all to dress like LEGO people?’
Bex starts to cry quietly.
‘I’m not here to help you create content,’ says Hunter, folding his arms across his chest and widening his stance as if to saydon’t even think about messing with me. ‘I’m here to look after you all, and make sure everyone stays safe. These are live animals, not photo props.’
I’m about to object to being referred to as an animal, live or not; then I realise he’s talking about the ponies, and close my mouth again.
