“Nothing has to be decided?” I straighten, eyes widening as I search her face for reassurance.
“Nope, take your time. Have fun with Nat, explore whatever new life you’re living. Gay, straight, potato, tomato, they’re just words. You had one intimate experience with a woman. We don’t need to run out and alert the neighborhood that you bat for the other team. Take a beat and try talking it over with her. The sex must’ve been quite the experience for it to cause such a freak-out. Am I missing out on something?” She nudges my shoulder, teasing me.
“Stop.” I laugh, pushing her away. “But to answer your question. Yes, you’re totally missing out.”
“I'm gonna go raid your pantry, I’m starving. You interrupted my breakfast with your post coital freak-out.”
When she leaves the room, I head to the bathroom to start the shower, deciding it’s probably time to get ready for the day. As I’m taking my shirt off, my cell phone buzzes. There’s only one other person besides Court who texts me, my heart is pounding, hoping it’s from Nat.
Nat: Are you done freaking out? I miss you
Candace: Feeling better now. About to hop in the shower.
Nat: Are you gonna think about me while you're there?
Candace: I was planning on washing my hair ;)
Nat: Sexy…I like it. Soap up that hair you dirty girl
This is so goofy, I’ve never acted like this before. She’s woken something inside me that’s been dead or sleeping a long time. Perhaps it’s a hopelessly romantic gay woman ready for action, and I think I’m okay with that.
Candace: Do you have plans this weekend?
Nat: Not yet…what are you thinking?
Candace: Court and I had plans to go to karaoke on Friday, you should come.
Nat: YOU DO KARAOKE????
Candace: Occasionally
Nat: Sign me the fuck up! I’ve gotta witness this
After I ignored the water and texted Nat, my bathroom completely steamed up. The hot water pounding into my back is exactly what I needed to unwind and distract myself from spiraling. Everything that Court said made sense. It’s all a label, and nothing has to be decided right now. I’ve lived life by the book for so long, and colored within the lines for most of my adult life, though, I wouldn’t know how to make a decision without knowing the outcome if I got paid to do it.
My girls and Nat are instant besties, and their connection is so unexpected. What would they think if I started dating her? Would they even understand their mom dating another woman? There’s no telling what my parents or their dad would say if they were to find out. Taking a deep breath, I let the water cascade over my face and repeat what Court said this morning.It’s my life, I’m in charge of it.
ChaptEr 20
Natalie
As usual, the PTA meeting this week was a total snooze fest. Betty went on a rampage about Candace’s behavior being inappropriate for someone with a prestigious title. I was chomping at the bit to climb over the table and gouge that bitches eyes out, but Candace gave me the side-eye. Meaning,not today.
God, it’s exhausting watching these Botox Barbies pretend to take the moral high ground. Hundred bucks says their husbands are all jacking off to granny porn at night and banging the nanny while they stay busy injecting their faces with poison to look younger.
Candace is a doormat, just sitting back, letting them walk all over her. It’s infuriating how nobody stands up for her, even more so that she doesn’t stand up for herself. The skeletons hiding in these cookie-cutter closets have got to be amazing. These twats don’t fool me, I see right through the bullshit.
“We’re still on for karaoke tonight, right?” Candace asks, once we wrap up.
“Yeah, but I’m gonna need a handful of painkillers to get rid of this headache after the hell I just sat through.”
“The girls are staying the night at Betty’s. So, once Court and I drop them off, we’ll meet you at the bar. Is that still okay?”
Candace is bundled up today, wearing a beige monochromatic outfit that vaguely resembles a catalog cover I once saw with a mom baking homemade apple pie, a drug-induced smile plastered on her face.
“Can’t wait.” Knowing that we’re in public and she wouldn’t dare let me come within a foot of her, I give her arm a brief but firm squeeze. “See you tonight,” she says, squeezing mine before turning to her minivan.
The bar Candace picked catapults me back in time, reminding me of a place you’d host a sixteenth birthday. What’s someone like her doing in a dive like this? It makes no sense. This must be her sister's influence. Randomly, there’s a valet out front with a young kid outside showing off a card trick to a teen girl about his age. There’s no need to valet my Gio. Who’s gonna steal it besides a teenager high on magic mushrooms?
