‘It has and I feel like I still have a lot of work to do. I’m going to stay in therapy for a while.’ I swallow. ‘But obvs not with Edward.’
‘Oh my god,’ she shrieks, picking up a cushion and throwing it at me. ‘We haven’t even talked properly about you snogging your fucking therapist!’
We both laugh and I stand up. ‘Jesus, Sam, you and I didn’t speak for less than a week and everything in the universe went down.’ I head in the direction of the kitchen. ‘I’ll get more biscuits; this is going to be a long night.’
[LIVE] EXPLORE FOLLOWING FRIENDS FOR YOU
MorningTeaVids
78 weeks ago
RELATIONSHIP EXPERT LIV CARPENTER ON MORNING TEA SAYS CLOSURE IS OVERRATED
Liv:Aww, that advert with the puppies always makes me laugh – welcome back, viewers! We’re continuing today’s segment with a call from a man – for once! We don’t get many of those. He wants to talk closure…
Caller:Hello? Eloy here.
Liv:Is that a Dutch accent I’m hearing? My favourite accent of all time.
Caller:Thank you, yes! I live in Edinburgh though now.
Host:Stop flirting with the callers, Liv!
Liv:[laughing] What can I say? I’m always on the lookout for my future husband! Sorry Eloy, how can I help you today?
Caller:Right, yes, okay. So, I was with my ex for three years, we broke up six months ago, and I just can’t get over it. It feels like it came so completely out of the blue and I never really got any proper answers from him. I just want to knowwhy, you know? We seemed to be so happy. I thought we were going to get married. We talked about adopting kids… And then one day he just ends things, out of nowhere.
Liv:That’s so rough, I’m sorry.
Caller:I just need some proper closure. I need to have a big sit downwith him, so I can ask some questions and get some real answers. I’ve tried to message to ask for a meeting but he just said he wants to move on, and then he’s ignored my follow ups since. He’s blocked me on social media so I can’t DM him, and I don’t think my texts are going through, so I guess he’s blocked me there, too. I don’t know how to get him to listen. Do you think writing a letter might—
Liv:Oh god, no, don’t write him a letter.
Caller:No?
Liv:No. Because whoa, you need to back off, Eloy.
Caller:Huh?
Liv:You may not like it or understand it, but he’s given you all he’s going to give you. He doesn’t want to see or speak to you. You can’t force answers from someone who doesn’t want to give them, and I’m sorry, but he doesn’t owe you anything, I’m afraid.
Caller:Oh… right.
Liv:And honestly, closure is so overrated. Even if he was willing to sit down and talk to you, I’m betting he still wouldn’t be able to give you the answers you want. And you wouldn’t trust them anyway. There will always be more questions in a situation like this. What could he possibly say that would heal everything? If he pointed to one particular moment, one thing you said, one look you gave him, that one thing that changed his feelings, would that help? Obsessing over it is keeping you stuck in the past. You need to realise and internalise the fact that you’ll probably never get the answers you want. It’s time to start focusing on you instead and your recovery from all this pain. Close the door on him and stop putting your life on hold for someone who walked away without a second glance back. Okay?
Caller:Okay.
Liv:I mean it, Eloy. Throw away that letter. I know you’ve already written it.
Caller: Er…
Liv:ELOY!
Caller:Okay, yeah I know you’re right. [sigh] I’ll throw it away and I’ll leave him alone.
Liv:Remember what I said, closure is overrated.
[watch again?]
