Caller:Please.
Liv:So, you found out your boyfriend is cheating on you…
Caller:Yes.
Liv:… with a friend…
Caller:Yes.
Liv:… and you found this out a month ago?
Caller:Yes.
Liv:… But you haven’t confronted him yet? Or her?
Caller:That’s right. I just… I’ve always… I can’t face…
Liv:You’re hiding.
Caller:[silence]
Liv:I’m guessing you have a history of avoiding confrontation, am I right?
Caller:[silence]
Liv:We can’t hear you when you nod, Asha.
Caller:Yes, sorry, I don’t like… having difficult conversations.
Liv:I think we can all understand that. This kind of issue sometimes comes from a childhood where you never had to face up to things. Was there always someone at home dealing with problems for you? Did you never learn to handle things for yourself as a child?
Caller:[mumbles] Maybe.
Liv:It sounds like you have an avoidant attachment style. It’s something we all have to work on, because it can get worse as we get older. It’s always easier to run away or hide from problems, but it’s impossible to live a full life if you’re always conflict-avoidant. If you stick your head in the sand and go la-la-la, then you’re saying your own feelings aren’t important. How can you have a real, honest relationship with others if you can’t be yourself and when you never speak your truth? Never mind the cheating and your friend’s betrayal, you’ll only ever have half a relationship if you can’t learn to stop hiding.
Caller:[sighs] I know you’re right.
Liv:Asha, of course I’m right. Time to stop being a wuss, okay?
Caller:[laughs] Yeah, okay.
[watch again?]
Liv Carpenter says hiding from your problems means living only half a life
#LivCarpenter #BBCMorningTea #RelationshipTherapist #StopBeingAWuss #LivLoveAndLoseTheDysfunction
CHAPTER NINE
I’m really into this new game on my phone. You basically move bits of different coloured liquid around test tubes trying to find some order in the chaos.
I complete another level and smile, enjoying the tiny boost of dopamine.
‘Olivia?’
I start a new level. This one looks a lot harder. Lots of test tubes, a rainbow of different colours to sort out.
‘Olivia!’ My head snaps up at the sound of Edward’s sharp tone.
