‘Why?’
‘Because!’ I throw up my hands as though that one word is a complete sentence, but his expression doesn’t alter. ‘I’m trying to start over,’ I say, choosing my words carefully.Don’t be so vague he blows you off, don’t be so vulnerable you give him ammunition. ‘I’m sure there are things you’d prefer to leave behind in the States, aren’t there?’
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I can hear myself laughing. What a dumb thing to say. He’s a spoiled little rich kid. What might he be happier to move on from, that enormous Range Rover he drives all over campus or his D1 sports star status? Maybe his super-hot girlfriend? But then an unexpected shadow passes over his face and the laughter dries in my throat like ashes. I’ve hit a nerve. Ethan’s easy smile meets a sudden death, replaced by something so obviously painful, I immediately want to ask what’s wrong. But I don’t. He isn’t my friend and I’m sure, whatever he has going on, he doesn’t want the librarian pitying him.
‘Just do me a favour,’ I say, backing away towards the front door. ‘Please don’t tell anyone about my old nickname.’
He shrugs, shoulders pinched up around his ears, all traces of discomfort vanished.
‘Sure but … what am I supposed to call you?’
And just like that, my empathy expires.
‘How about my name?’ I suggest.
‘Uh, yeah, no problem.’ He lets his shoulders drop, an awkward smile inching up one side of his annoying, handsome face. ‘Only, I don’t know what it is.’
‘Exactly,’ I reply, storming out through the door, leaving Ethan Taylor and the librarian behind.
4
Mia
By the time I make it back down to the quad, my ten-minute timer long since expired, I’m red-cheeked and breathless from running the whole way. Standing at the edge of the lawn, one hand pressing into my ribs to stave off a stitch that started almost as soon as I began running, because I haven’t runanywheresince my last phys ed class in high school, I scan the groups of students passing back and forth, looking for a familiar face. No trace of Alice or Oliver, not even Bryn and his treacherous tote.
The passing crowds of students seem to swell, the happy conversations around me getting louder and louder. They’re all gone. I’m on my own. They said they’d wait but they didn’t.
‘Why should they?’ I whisper to myself, ignoring an embarrassing pang of hurt. It’s dumb to be disappointed in people I don’t even know, but I can’t help it. I wanted to believe them. I wanted them to want to wait. A knot begins to form in my stomach and the thought of walking into the student union alone fills me with the kind of dread usually reserved for dentist appointments, midterms and visiting my ultra-religious uncle who thinks a woman showing her ankles is an affront to God. Today has already been a lot, with the travel and the Ethan of it all. Maybe I should go back to my room, regroup and—
‘Oh good, you’re still here!’
Correction, they’re notallgone. Alice skips up behind me, sliding her arm through mine and pulling me along as though we’ve traipsed across this quad together a thousand times before.
‘I was going back to my room anyway, so I told the others to go on and I’d call for you,’ she says, tucking her coppery bob behind a heavily studded ear as I shake off my panic and paste on a smile. ‘I must’ve missed you by a millisecond.’
‘A millisecond,’ I agree, thrilled she didn’t catch me talking to Ethan. The relief is all-consuming and the knot that wrapped itself around my internal organs dissolves into butterflies. She’s wearing a different outfit, a bright blue slip dress with spaghetti straps like it’s the middle of summer even though it definitely is not.
‘You went back to get changed?’ I ask, panic flashing through me that my floor-length, button-through vintage dress is all wrong for where we’re going, but Alice shakes her head.
‘No. I mean, yes, I did change but I mostly went to use the loo. I know it’s the first day and the toilets in the union are probably fine but why use a public toilet when you can use your own, and wow look at your face, I am oversharing. You think I’m a total weirdo.’
‘I think you’re very smart,’ I correct her. ‘Between us, I must’ve been at least fourteen before I even realized they have bathrooms in public places. My mom is not a fan. You never met a toddler with better bladder control than this girl.’
‘Does she know my mum?’ Alice asks, laughing. ‘Jenna’s always ripped the piss out of me, but I can’t help it, it’s the way I was raised. My mother taught me two things, don’t take sweets from strangers and never sit on a public toilet seat.’
I scrunch up my face. ‘Not even Swedish candy?’
‘Not even. Although I would risk it all for a Percy Pig.’ She stalls in the middle of the path without warning, forcing the twoguys walking behind us to quickly divert. ‘Oh my God, Mia. Very serious question. Have you ever had a Percy Pig?’
When I shake my head, she sucks in a gasp so huge her entire body seems to double in size.
‘This is a violation of your human rights,’ she declares. ‘And something we must rectify immediately, if not sooner, except it’ll have to wait until tomorrow because M&S is closed by now, sorry. So that means this must be your first time in England?’
I’m still hanging off her arm as she starts up again, leading me past the Lawton building, its buttercup walls turned to golden honey by the late afternoon sun.
‘How did you know?’
‘Because you definitely would’ve tried one of our most famous delicacies if you’d been here before. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. First free day you get, I’m going to take you on a culinary tour of England. The big Tesco won’t know what’s hit it.’
