‘Mia, don’t—’
‘There was an accident,’ I say, pushing. ‘Over the summer.’
His nostrils flare and he finds my eyes again. I’ve never seen him look so cold.
‘Yes.’
‘Breanna and your brother were hurt.’
‘Bre wasn’t hurt.’
‘She was hurt enough for you to quit Marshall and have your dad pay your way into Hemden.’
He flinches at that and for a moment, I hate him.
‘Yes,’ Ethan says quietly. ‘That’s right.’
‘And what about your brother, is he in a wheelchair?’
I hadn’t noticed before but it’s raining, only a little, but enough to stick Ethan’s hair to his forehead until he swipes it out of the way.
‘Were you drinking?’ I ask, lowering my voice.
‘No!’ Ethan raises his in response. ‘I might be a piece of shit but I’m not a monster. No, I wasn’t drinking. It was an accident.’
‘What about this?’ I take out Oliver’s tape recorder and press play, wincing at the ugly words as they fill the air between us. ‘Was that an accident too?’
He doesn’t say anything and when I start to cry, I don’t waste time trying to stop it because there’s no point. Let him see. He’s hidden from the consequences of his actions for too long already. The rain starts to come down heavier, saturating my shirt, my jeans, soaking my hair and stinging my eyes.
‘You don’t understand,’ he says after far too long. ‘It’s not what you think.’
‘I understand enough,’ I tell him, angrily swiping my wet hair from out of my face. ‘I understand we’re right back where we started. I don’t have a clue who you really are, Ethan Taylor, and I don’t want to find out.’
47
Ethan
Wild how fast your world can be turned upside down. It shouldn’t be a surprise to me, not really. My life has been batted back and forth like a piñata since the accident, but I really think this might be the thing that breaks me. It’s a real downer to find out all that’s inside me is pain and regret instead of candy.
When I go down onto my hands and knees, splaying my fingers against the damp pitch to ground myself, Assad rushes over with Michael close behind. Mia is gone. Mia isn’t coming back.
‘I’m not going to lie to you.’ Assad crouches at the side of me, his boots covered in strands of wet grass and dirt. ‘That looked less than pleasant.’
‘If that’s British for fucking brutal, then yeah.’
‘Chin up, at least she didn’t slap you.’
I wish she had. Maybe then I’d know for sure our conversation really happened, because right now I’m struggling to hold on to reality. Bre must have contacted Mia after I called, it’s the only possibility.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Michael squats down in front of me and I wish I could say his empathetic frown makes me feel better, but it doesn’t. As soon as Mia tells Alice and Jenna what I’ve done, he’ll never speak to me again.
‘No,’ I say, the urge to dry heave passing as I realize I’ve beencrying this whole time and didn’t notice. Wow, the manliness of me. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Just as well, I’m no good at this touchy-feely shit anyway.’
We share a weak smile as I find my feet, Michael’s hand on my back to steady me, but I’d rather fall down. Maybe get a concussion and lose my memory. There’s nothing here I want to remember.
‘What was she going on about? Something about an accident?’ Assad looks worried. ‘Not that we were listening—’
