Page 4 of Fake Out Make Out


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“You have no idea how much you are my hero,” I tell my favorite new coworker, Ana, as she helps me carry the sandwiches from the elevator into FIRE’s lobby. “I can’t believe I forgot my badge.”

Ana shrugs, scanning us into the office. “Happens to the best of us.” She’s about my age, wearing fitted black jeans with a floral-print silk button-down, her long dark brown beachy waves effortless and glam at the same time. “Shauna said you needed some staff gear, but let’s get the suits their lunches first.”

That’s right. During my tour of the office, Shauna told me to link up with Ana Alonso in merchandise.

“That would be fantastic.” A smile instantly spreads across my face as we cross the threshold. My skin prickles. I could blame the goosebumps dotting my skin on the air-conditioning, but I know that isn’t it. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over the cool factor here,” I breathe.

Ana laughs and flashes me a smile. “That’s why we all stay. The hours are long, other sports pay better, but you’ll never have a cooler business on your résumé than this one.” Ana explains what I already know. What I’m already feeling. The array of Emmys, ESPYs, and other awards filling the built-in glass bookshelves to the left of the entrance is only part of it.

We head toward the executive conference room past a TV screen in the lobby playing the same promotional video on repeat. Finish-line smiles flash to the sound of drums beating a resounding conclusion. Athletes of all ages, races, and abilities celebrating. A voiceover accompanies the music, reciting the company motto, the words spoken at the start line of every race:

The race is not given to the swift, says the familiar voice as images of pro triathletes and ultra-marathoners pop up on screen.Nor valor to the brave.Runners jump for joy, falling to their knees at the finish line, exhausted and euphoric.

But to those who, the voice continues, a drumbeat punctuating each word,Endure. To. The. End!

The final four words remain on screen before the company logo appears beneath them. The letters of ‘FIRE’ morph into two friends lifting their arms in between two mountains, symbolizing one challenge accomplished and another on the horizon.

“So, did you move here for the job?” Ana asks, drawing my attention back from the video.

“Yes!” I say, a little too eager to please. “From Oregon.”

“Oh my gosh, we did an open-water swim on the Oregon coast last year and it was so beautiful!” Ana gushes, and I can’t help but think about what my first event as FIRE staff will be.

The entire office is adorned with inspirational quotes on the walls, along with high-quality finish-line photos. A mosaic of vintage race bibs and finisher medals screams endurance-athlete culture.

In the conference room, Ana helps me set up the beverages and sandwiches on the back table, which is much easier than anticipated with an extra set of hands.

“OK,” she says, “time to do a little spin.” She eyes me up and down. “Shauna didn’t know what sizes to grab for your staff gear.” The downside of being hired directly by the CEO without going through the standard process: Oliver never thought to ask my size. What will my new colleagues think when they learn it’s my family connection that secured me this job?

Turning in a circle, I admit, “I feel like one of those hot dogs left to roast all day at the gas station.”

She laughs at my joke. “Ha! But you look like a cute hot dog.”

I wiggle my eyebrows and roll my eyes, accepting her compliment. “Any chance you can get me a polo shirt in the next fifteen minutes, so I don’t have to wear this sweaty button-down at the meeting?” I ask and gesture at my shirt: rumpled, wrinkled, and beginning to stink.

“Fifteen? I can do better than that. You’re about my size and we’ve got one full set of staff gear left in the merch closet that should fit.” Ana winks. “Wait here. I’ll be back in five.” After that horrible interaction at the front door with Mr. Meanie, I think maybe I’ve made my first friend.

It hits me for the umpteenth time today.I work for FIRE!The butterflies have redoubled their efforts.Damn, this is so cool!

While I wait for Ana to return with a clean shirt, I fish my phone from my purse and check my email. Shauna already got my phone synced with the FIRE cloud. Sure enough, there’s a cascade of calendar revisions for Oliver that I’ve been copied on. Meeting requests for Oliver with local sports officials in different cities around the world. There’s an invitation from the head of the World Games Organizing Committee – I’ll wait to respond on that one. I need to have my head right.

The final request is from the prime minister of Luxembourg.Wow, I guess our ultra-cycling race there is a big deal if the head of the entire country is asking for a meeting with Oliver.

My rapidly expanding to-do list is coming together in my mind as Ana rushes back in. She hands me a forest-green polo embroidered with the FIRE logo. “Here you go.”

“You have saved me again!” I tell Ana. “I seriously owe you.”

“First round is on you for happy hour,” she says as we part ways at the conference-room door.

“You bet. Thank you, thank you!” I say and walk-run to the bathroom to change into the new top.

A quick glance in the mirror and it’s not a completely mismatched outfit. I can make this work. I feel the seconds counting down to my first meeting with the executive team as I undo my ponytail and finger-comb my hair.

I pop by my desk to lock my sweaty blouse in the bottom drawer so any odor doesn’t escape. My smile falters as I spot the second large feature at my desk. The quote in bold forest-green block letters on the wall behind my chair.It’s not personal, I tell myself.There are quotes all over the office.

Quitters never earn a line in the history books.

I can’t help but bristle. As if I were destined to end up here, to sit as Exhibit A proving this quote to be true.