It’s not something anyone’s ever asked, but I know the answer right away: “Because if I possess them, then I know they’ll be taken care of. That I can give them everything they need. They don’t ever have to live in the wild and be at risk of being killed or captured or tormented. They can be…”
“Safe,” he says, finishing my sentence for me. His gaze travels around my face as though he’s searching for something. “Have you considered that this has something to do with your family?”
My thoughts scramble. “What?”
“You started rescuing in your early twenties. Was it after your family was attacked? I can’t help wondering if you like being able to keep an eye on these birds because you couldn’t keep them safe.”
It seems so obvious, yet it never occurred to me to look at it that way. Is that what this urge with Logan has been all along? When I saw this special thing in him, I wanted to possess him to ensure I could protect it? Protecthim?
He swallows, just as there’s a sound at the door. Willie flies from Logan’s hand, breaking our eye contact.
“Hey, you two horndogs need to be getting out here,” Rage calls over. “Ceremony’s about to start.”
“Yeah, yeah, asshole,” I say. “We’ll be there in a second.”
He heads off, and I refocus on Logan, whose gaze is locked on me, as if he’s pondering what I just shared.
I take his hand. “I can’t ever love you, but I will keep you safe and I will protect you.”
“I know,” he says softly.
As our gazes lock, I know that if there were ever a man I could fall in love with, it’d be someone as amazing as Logan Wilde.
33
LOGAN
Istand behindmy brothers at the entrance to the Rothguard ballroom as the Mozart sonata Killian selected fills the air.
I went out to the greenhouse earlier, hoping for some privacy before the ceremony. Grappling with the fate I’d chosen for myself, which I now fear even more. Going off my initial impressions of Killian, I’d say he’s trying to drive me out of my mind. When he first told me he wanted to possess me like a falcon, I thought it was selfishness, but after hearing what he said about the birds he rescues, I realize I’ve unearthed a layer to him I hadn’t previously considered—all this desire for control and power over me, maybe it’s because he wants to keep me safe. Because he knows it’s the best way to do it, having a psychopath like him on my side. It doesn’t excuse the way it’s manifested and his brutal way of going about it, but it explains so much. This damned obsession to possess the man his father asked him to marry to protect our families.
After he shared that with me, when he gazed into my eyes, I felt as though I saw him,reallysaw him, for the first time.
Something more beautiful than his flesh.
Something more compassionate than he would ever give himself credit for.
He’s not merely a monster. At least, not in the way he thinks.
My brothers make their way down the aisle between the two groom sides, leaving Killian and me on either side of the entryway. He suddenly looks entirely different from the man who had me strung up in his study, revealing the agreement Dadgot me to sign. He’s staring off, as if thinking about the weighty consequences of what we’ve done.
In the name of peace.
In the name of family.
Once Rory settles in his place, Killian and I enter. As I take his hand, my skin prickles, my heart races. It’s only wedding jitters, I tell myself, though I know it’s a lie.
As we start our journey down the aisle, I notice the sun setting through the windows along the wall, seeming to suggest the end of part of my life and the beginning of this lifetime commitment.
“Here we go,” Killian whispers.
We don’t rush, take our time, and as I survey the crowd gathered to see this moment, it’s a struggle to believe it’s really happening. Throughout a lifetime of wild situations, this wasn’t something that would’ve ever occurred to me. It’s been too much, too fast.
When we reach the priest and he begins officiating, I can barely hear anything that’s being said as I steady my gaze on Killian, only keeping an ear out for when he says the part where I need to respond. My collar feels unusually tight, and as Killian sets his eyes on me for the first time since we spoke in the greenhouse, having his gaze upon me isn’t anything like it was before. Even though I’m wearing so many layers of clothes, I’m naked. He’s naked before me too, exposed by what he shared with me, a confidence in my soul that he really will keep us safe. That we made the right decision.
The priest requests Killian place the ring on my finger, and he takes great care sliding it on. Fits so well—and of course it does because we had them fitted—but like everything else happening today, it feels more significant, like it holds hidden meaning. We already signed the document, so it’s all settled, but for some reason, that ring makes it all feel so much more real.
And finally we get to those words that are so important, when the priest asks if he’ll take me to be his lawfully wedded husband.
