I don’t know that many could understand what we just shared, but in many ways, I’d say it was better than fucking if I hadn’t learned how good fucking could be with him.
Killian steps out of the basement, still wiping his hands on a towel. Sweat covers his forehead, and he seems lost in a daze, the exhaustion that comes with that kind of torture.
“Are you okay?” I ask, and he snaps out of his state, his gaze meeting mine. He seems surprised I bothered to ask.
“We got what we needed. Once we make sure your brothers are safe, and word gets out about what we did, the rest will know we’re not ones to fuck with.” He removes an audio recorder from his pocket.
“Why do you have that?” I ask, gripped with guilt.
“I’ll have to send the Cronkites the part of the confession where Wilmore explains his grudge, to justify our actions. It’ll hopefully be enough for them to see we aren’t the ones whobegan this war. I’ll remove the part where you were torturing Hartlow. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t expose that part of you to anyone else.”
As always, I’m surprised by the moments when Killian chooses to be gentle with me, but I appreciate it. Just like I appreciate the way he prioritized my family. And while I have my personal feelings, sulking about a life I can’t ever have, the wiser part of me sees something else. “This…passion you had in there…that’s what you’ll use to protect my family?”
He winces, studying me in a way I struggle to read. “Of course. You belong to me, and I will protect you with my everything.”
Killian stating that I belong to him creates this tension in me, making me want to shout at him,“I belong to no one!”But another part of me speaks for me, “Say it again.”
A calm comes over him, not dissimilar to what I saw when he was torturing our victims. The energy he gives off fascinates me because of how quickly it can vacillate between the violent tantrum of a hurricane and the quiet of the eye within.
“You belong to me, and I will protect you with my everything.”
There’s no doubt in his words, no uncertainty. He’s full of misguided confidence because he must know that’s not something he can promise.
He moves closer, his gaze settling on my lips, and I want to run far away from him, but this beast inside me that wants to tear the world apart revels in being in his arms.
“That fight earlier,” he says. “I’m so confused about what you want from me. Don’t leave me in suspense, Log. Tell me, and I’ll give it to you. Say the words, and I’ll do whatever you want. Tell me the truth—that you can’t bear being with me, knowing I’ll only trap you. That you want to be free.”
He’s moved so close, his lips are millimeters from mine, his hot breath electrifying me, pulsing desire right through me. Despite the chaos of passion that soars through me, there’s a clarity—I know what I want from him.
“I refuse to submit to you.”
His gaze sinks, his expression tensing, as though it was painful to hear me speak those words. He starts to turn away from me, like he wants to mask his pain, so I snatch his wrist, drawing his attention once more.
“You’ll have to take what you want from me,” I say, looking him dead in his dark eyes, and I could swear I see them darken even more.
Fear grips me now that he’s looking at me like the predator I know he is, now that I’ve seen what he’s capable of.
“Is that what you want?” he asks, his hot breath rushing against my lips. “Does my falcon need to be dragged to the earth and restrained?”
The part of me that knows I shouldn’t desire this echoes in the distance of my mind, but I don’t listen, I don’t care what it has to say.
“Unless you’re all talk.” I release him and spin away.
He moves swiftly, gripping my arm and shoving me against the wall, so powerfully that it takes me by surprise, makes me worry about the monster I might have unleashed. In no time, his lips are on mine, his tongue invading my mouth, greedily probing, like he’s trying to claim every inch inside. I give him a shove, but for a change, he’s not backing away so easily, so I push harder and deck him.
As soon as I do it, I feel like a real idiot because I know better than anyone what he’s capable of, and if he doesn’t understand my intentions, then God knows what he’ll do to get me back. But when he looks up at me, his lip freshly bleeding, he smirks, assuring me he knows exactly what I’m asking of him.
He rushes me again, and I strike at him, but he restrains my wrists, shoving them back against the wall with me. “Was that the best you had?” he asks, leaning in for a kiss, so I rear my head back and butt him in the head.
We both curse from the intensity, but he doesn’t release me, and this time, he’s not smiling. He’s looking at me the way I saw him look at Hartlow and Wilmore.
Fuck, what have I done? Is tonight the night I die because of this fucked-up desire I can’t seem to deny myself?
“Cute,” he mutters with disdain before forcing another kiss.
I don’t know what possesses me, but I bite his bottom lip. I only have the advantage for an instant before he releases my wrist and knocks me upside the head, and then it’s all a frenzy of fists and grabbing at each other until we’re rolling around on the floor. I’m a wild animal, unleashing this primal creature that’s always been within me, letting it possess my body as Killian works to subdue me. And for the first time since that night with Sik Vik, I feelalive.
Killian manages to get me on my stomach, pulling my arm back the way he did that first time he fucked me. He grabs hold of my pants, dragging them down with my boxers, exposing my ass.
