“I didn’t and I won’t,” I say out loud as I shuffle to the side of the bed and sit with my elbows on my knees, my head dropped in surrender.
I won’t come without Rebecca, not ever again. This body, everything it contains is hers, and as crazy as that may seem, I wouldn’t change it for the world. She’s shattered me, utterly destroyed the man I was and she’ll have to piece me back together into some semblance of wholeness according to what she needs.
Because that’s the thing. Her needs are mine to fulfill.
“Goddamn mine,” I mutter, barking out a curse when I wrap a hand around my cock and tug, once, twice, relishing the burn before I release myself to suffer the throbbing.
“Hello! Zack?” I hear, my entire body coming to life at the sound of Rebecca’s soft voice.
Rising and grabbing a pair of sweat pants, I shove my legs into it and stride out of the dark guestroom to find Rebecca standing at the top of the stairs, staring down uncertainly.
“I’m here,” I murmur, grabbing for her when she spins around too quickly and tips back.
Grunting, I press her to my chest and shudder, the feel of her body pressed to mine turning my craving into a need so insane that I see everything I want. Bend her over the stairs, railing into her sweet wet hole from behind. Mark her, come, everywhere. I’ll come deep in Rebecca and then have enough to drench her skin. Rub it in, make her smell like me. Feel me everywhere. Claim!
“Oh! My goodness.” Rebecca gasps, clinging to me, her small hands clasped over my shoulders.
I’m reveling in that touch, my mind purring with pleasure when I feel her stiffen, and then, then her hands work down my naked chest and stop on the scars that I swore I wouldn’t let her see.
“Zack,” she whispers, running her fingers over the scars and peering up at me through eyes filled with horror.
It’s a look that kills me and reminds me of my dirty, blood-stained hands. Hands that even now, hold her close and refuse to let go. I can’t. I’d go insane if I couldn’t at least feel this woman somehow.
“Don’t look at them, angel.” I groan, sweat breaking out all over me when she strokes my chest down to my ridged belly.
“But… but it must have hurt so bad,” Rebecca croaks, her voice a rasp of pain that I feel to the marrow of my bones.
Pain for me. No, no! She can’t feel pain ever, not for anything or anyone. Not for me. I don’t deserve it.
“I’ll go throw a shirt on,” I grunted, knowing I need to let go and step back.
My hands won’t obey, they refuse to unclasp from around her hips. So close. My fingers are so close to her ass. One slide and I can grab those globes, squeeze them, run my fingers down to the valley there, and still be holding all of her. Touch it. Just a touch. She’ll be so warm there, I think, belatedly registering what she’s wearing. Oh fuck. Yes, my mind groans when I realize Rebecca is in a pair of my boxers and a white t-shirt that hangs clear to her knees.
“Oh, God. Don’t,” she sighs, her voice a purr as she continues to touch me, her eyes turning a liquid blue that sparks with…can it be need, I wonder, hardly daring to believe it even when Rebecca leans in and places a soft kiss on one bullet hole, the scar a puckered, ugly reminder of my previous life. “I…I like to see you. Maybe I shouldn’t say that…” she mumbles, trailing off and stiffening up on me.
“Say whatever the hell you want, angel. Anything,” I growl, my hands tightening on her ass until I see panic spear her.
Now I’m panicked and the only thing I can think to do is let her go and drop to my knees before her to show her my subservience. I would kill, die, burn for this woman. Every part of me is hers to do with as she pleases and while I know this obsession with her is unhealthy, I can’t bring myself to care. It won’t be stopped; I won’t ever stop. I can’t.
“I won’t ever touch you unless you want me to,” I declare, willing to lay it all out and bare myself to her because she needs to know. “You control me, angel. You want me to touch you; I’ll die a thousand agonizing moments of pain to do so. If all you want is your tits sucked, I’ll do that until you tell me to stop. That pussy? I’ll do anything you want, anything,” I emphasize through gritted teeth. “And you won’t ever have to give me relief.”
“Zack,” she moans, squirming above me, the scent of soft musk filling the air to tell me she’s liking what she hears.
Thank God. Thank you.
“Anything, angel,” I promise, daring to look up at her and regretting it because her soft tits are level with my eyes and I can see her dark pink nipples through the shirt.
They’re hard. Needing my mouth.
“You can’t…say those things! We just met. I shouldn’t…”
“Want me?” I ask, picking up on her nerves and also the needs that war within her. “I know. I’m not worthy of you, angel, but I swear to God I’ll do anything, fucking anything, to make you feel that I could be. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you at that little baked goods stand. You smiled. It felled me.”
“But I hardly remember that day,” she murmurs, making me smile because that doesn’t surprise me.
She was run off her feet, obviously tired and in need of a break but she still took the time to smile at me, an ugly bastard she’d never met.
“But I do. I saw you in the rain and I thought, here’s my chance,” I tell her, lying through my teeth and hating myself for it.
