The wind picked up as I coughed to clear the stinging in the back of my throat.
“Koa and Bon will lead Tera Insaldame,” he said. “I’ve already given them many of my responsibilities, and they command it in all but title. The people there like and respect them. But Respandora . . .” He dragged a hand over his face. “I’d like to leave it to Teddy. She loves the land and people as much as I do.”
“But you want it to be a separate kingdom from Niev,” I said when he didn’t continue. “You can’t do that with her already named Niev’s queen.”
“No, I cannot.” He let out another heavy sigh that rattled inside my chest. “I hoped Javier would take over. He’s not mage, but he’s mine. Not my son but simply mine.” He paused, the kind that carried far too much weight. “He belongs to those people just as they belong to me. But if he stays in Vistos, someone will need to hold it until he’s ready.”
His gaze slid to me. It wasn’t a plea but more a statement.
“Respandora needs someone who understands her. Someone who knows how to work her land and isn’t afraid to get dirty. Someone who’ll know who to welcome and who to turn away.Someone who’ll fight for her and her people,” he said. “And you . . . you hold that line, Brenton.”
My stomach knotted. “You can’t possibly mean . . .”
“She’s yours if you choose it.” It came out soft and far too vulnerable. “Finley wouldn’t be feared there. Not like she is in Niev. You know the shifter mages. You know their magic.”
“They wouldn’t fear her magic or our binding.” The people of Respandora were different from those of Niev. Her people were kinder with differences, more willing to accept what others shunned.
“You both have a home there regardless of what you decide,” he said.
I swallowed past the tightness in my throat. “If I am who you want to lead Respandora until Javi is ready, I’ll do it.” I shook my head, unable or unwilling to grasp everything he said. “But I don’t like how you’ve made peace with dying. Isn’t there something that can be done?”
I caught the way his eyes flared before he dipped his chin down. “Leah tried when we were still together. I ended it when I realized I wouldn’t be getting better.”
Salty wind bit at my skin, my pulse stuttering with my next question. “What of this female who visits you? If she makes the headaches worse . . .” I hesitated. “Maybe she’s the key to this.”
His shadows rippled at his feet, the movement almost like a shiver.
“She is,” he said, and although the words were quiet, they vibrated with something strange. Not fear or defeat. Longing, maybe.
The kind of longing that didn’t belong to the living.
My brows pulled down. “What does that mean?”
He didn’t answer but simply turned back toward the water, his shoulders angled against the wind with the weight of a thousand things I couldn’t see pressing into him.
Almost too casually, he tilted his head. “And then there’s you, Brent.”
I raised a brow. “What about me?”
“I know you feel how the astral realm hums inside you,” he said. “The way death magic is laced through each breath you take.”
My heart gave one slow, hard thud. It was always there, swimming through my veins without rest.
“You’re not a god.” He laughed when I frowned. “Not a demi-god like Finley. But you’re not what you were either.” He paused, weighing each emotion that crossed my face. “Maybe you brought something back with you when you didn’t die. Something that stayed asleep until Finley tied her magic to your bond. Or maybe Eiran tucked something in you. Either way, it’s a part of you now. Like the realm marked you for itself.”
I dragged in a breath that tasted of salt and desperation. Since Finley and I had tied our magic to our bond, I’d felt it. The way the air went cold around me when Finley’s magic tugged at mine. The way shadows lurked where they shouldn’t.
Whatever it was that had risen inside me before Alastor fell was still there. Always there, lying in wait for . . . something.
Alastor’s gaze met mine. “You’re neither mortal nor divine. You’re . . . other. And I believe the gods have a much bigger role for you to play.”
My chest twisted. Not exactly with fear, but with a sharp awareness that he was right.
It was because of thatotherthat I believed I could manipulate the threads of Zaicha’s magic.
“Well then, for my own sanity, you’d better not die just yet, old man. I’m going to need you around to explain what exactly I’ve become.”
A real laugh left him. Loud and rough and almost feral. “Asshole,” he muttered.
