‘I rather liked them,’ Mum adds. ‘Orange is lovely on you, Greg.’
I chuckle in spite of myself. ‘Anyway, I know things are weird with us—’
‘We’re here, Gertie, same as we’ve always been—’
‘I know.’ I bite my lip. ‘I stopped coming because I didn’t want to talk about Josie any more. I couldn’t bear to see you two so forlorn and it was easier to bury my head in the sand. But it just struck me that there’s no one else who knows that stuff about Josie. The little stuff. No one else who shares those tiny, everyday memories of us.’ I sigh. ‘And … I don’t even know what I’m trying to say …’
‘We knew you needed time, pet.’ There’s a slight tremor in Dad’s voice. ‘We’re all navigating this the best we can.’
‘But we bloody miss you,’ Mum says. ‘We really bloody miss you, love.’
‘I’m going to get the train up,’ I tell them, my heart lifting once I’ve said it out loud. I know that I mean it. ‘I need to sort a few things out here first.’ I glance at River, who is politely pretending to read thehow to wash your handsposter. ‘But then I’ll be up. Okay?’
‘I’ll do us a roast dinner,’ Dad offers. ‘And we can look at the photo albums.’
‘There’s some corkers of you and Jo in there,’ Mum adds.
‘That sounds perfect,’ I say.And scary, and sad, and tough. But necessary.
I end the call and take a deep breath.
Time to give it some oomph.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Mrs Casablancas pokes her head out of her front door as River carries me all the way up the stairs and to my flat. ‘Oh no! What’s happened here then?’
‘Frossssty Topsss,’ I say, my words slurring a little round the edges, Mrs Casablancas looking like two Mrs Casablancases. ‘I fell off a tiny horse called Frossssty Topsss.’
‘Gertie here has a broken ankle,’ River explains.
‘Oh dear!’ Mrs Casablancas gasps as Squish darts out to greet us. He immediately starts whining desperately at the sight of River.
‘Quit it,’ River commands in a low voice. Squish immediately quietens down and sits neatly, waiting for further instruction from his hero.
‘Would you look at that!’ Mrs Casablancas remarks, glancing down at Squish in surprise. ‘He won’t do that for me.’
She casts a slightly hurt look at Squish and a sudden rush of affection floods through me. ‘Mrs Casablancas, you are so, so nice,’ I say, the words feeling thick on my tongue. ‘I just wanted to tell you that. It’s so important that you know it. Why do we never say these things out loud, eh? Why are we all so afraid? It’s so stupid. You are really, really incrediblylovely, Mrs Casablancas, and I like you very much. And what you did to River’s hat—’
‘We should get inside,’ River cuts in as Mrs Casablancas takes the key dangling from his finger and unlocks our door for us. ‘Morphine,’ he adds by way of explanation.
‘Oh, I do love morphine!’ Mrs Casablancas says, looking wistful for a moment. ‘The only silver lining of having a broken bone. Okay. Well. Will you let me know if you need anything?’
‘We will,’ River says. ‘Thank you, Mrs Casablancas.’
As we close the door behind us, River carries me over to the sofa, lays me down, pulls up my footstool and props my foot – now encased in an ugly yellow cast – on top of it.
‘Why is it yellow?’ I muse.
‘You asked them to give you yellow,’ River tells me. ‘You said it was the exact same colour of a corn on the cob and why should only kids get to have all the fun colours, remember?’
‘That’s a good point I made,’ I say, mashing my mouth together.
He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear. ‘How are you doing, Owl?’
‘I’m seeing slight trails of colour and light and also feeling like everything is beautiful. I hope Frosty Tops isn’t mad at me.’
‘I’m sure it’s happened to her plenty of times.’
