‘Oh, I’d say we’re already well into the realm of the ridiculous,’ I point out, taking in this unfeasibly hot fictional character in his Stetson and too small Shakespeare T-shirt and then looking down at myself, a heartbroken book nerd in my next-door neighbour’s periwinkle kaftan. ‘But this is the only explanation I can think of. Last night I manifested help with finishing the final Bedlam Creek book. There must have been some mix-up andyouended up here instead. Some confusion in the universe, a glitch …’
‘A glitch?’
‘I don’t know! We’re feeling around in the dark here, clearly … Hmm … we don’t have the tiaras,’ I mutter to myself. ‘But I’m sure that’s fine. How much difference could they have really made?’
‘Do you even know what you’re doing right now?’
‘No,’ I admit. ‘But Mrs Casablancas – the neighbour I did the ceremony with last night – is out at her dog-training class and she sometimes goes to the pub afterwards to complain about unruly dogs with the other attendees. They havea lotto say on the topic. We can wait until she gets back, if you want, but I don’t know how long it’ll be.’
River shakes his head firmly. ‘No, thank you. We need to undo whatever this is as quickly as possible, and if this lunacy is the only plan you’ve got then I guess we should get on with it.’
‘I agree.’ I clear my throat and take a deep breath. ‘Okay. Dear Universe, the ether, Buddha, God, goddesses and, uh, Princess Diana. We, uh, thank you for …’
‘Princess Diana?’ River pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘Princess Diana?’
‘You know who that is?’
‘Of course I do. The people’s princess.’
‘Wait … you know Princess Diana but you don’t know Google …’
‘It’s called Skangle.’
‘But I never wrote Skangle in the books. Surely I should know everythingyouknow?’
His eyes darken with irritation. ‘Can you really not fathom the possibility that maybe you didn’t invent me? That I’m actually a real person? ‘Cos I can assure you that I am. I have an entire life, memories, thoughts and feelings you know nothing about.’
‘But Bedlam Creek doesn’t exist in the real world.’
‘Inthisworld.’
‘This worldisthe real world! You saw for yourself – it’s not on the map! It’s not online. I remember the day I came up with the town of Bedlam Creek. Twentieth of August 2021. Josie’s … well, that’s not relevant. Why on earth would I lie about it? I’m as unhappy about all this as you are! Frankly, the timing is awful.’
River shakes his head. ‘I’m not saying you’re lying. I can spot a phoney a mile away and you don’t strike me as the lying type. But earlier you said I go to my wood hut to “devise evil plans to ruin Cassidy”. That’s not even slightly true. Not least because my family relationships are way more complex than that. I actually go to the wood hut toread. Oakley Ranch is loud; the machinery, the cattle, the boys. It’s the only place in town where I can get any peace other than the old cedar tree at Blue Egg Meadow. How do you explain not knowing that, if you “invented” me?’
I frown. He’s unnervingly right. I know barely anything about this man outside of the few details I wrote, the big bad stereotype I conjured as a narrative tool. So how is this happening? How is he talking about experiences I know nothing about? He’s my character – it doesn’t make any sense.
I blink. ‘I … well, I can’t …’ I say, my bottom lip sticking out with surprise. ‘You read books?’
‘I read plenty of books. All the way to the end, too. That’s what I’m saying. You don’tknowme. There’s something more to this.’ He rubs the heel of his hand over his forehead. ‘What if we’re both right? What if this world is real but, I don’t know, mine is too? Like a … a parallel universe or something.’
‘Aparallel universe?’ I squeak, my brain all muddled and confused. ‘That’s ridiculous. That’s not a real thing.’
‘And me being a made-up character conjuring up at your house isn’t ridiculous?’
I shake my head. ‘But if Bedlam Creek is in a parallel universe then how am I, over here in this universe, writing entire books about it?’
River runs a hand over his jaw. ‘Yeah, that part makes zero sense. I don’t know.’ His eyes flash. ‘And I don’t like not knowing.’
‘God. What an utterly weird conversation this is.’
River’s mouth quirks upwards a tad, the ghost of a smile crinkling his eyes. ‘Yep. This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed and I’m from Texas where we race armadillos for fun.’
I nod. ‘I read about that in my research on Texas before I started the series—’
At another allusion to him being a fictional character, River’s starter smile abruptly drops. ‘Christ. Let’s just get on with it, shall we?’
‘Sorry. Yes.’ I look back up towards the now rapidlydarkening sky and try to focus. ‘Okay. As I was saying, thank you, Universe and goddesses and everyone else for kindly sending River this way, but … I think there might have been some sort of mix-up somewhere. I asked for help with mywriter’s block.’ I wriggle, my cheeks turning a little pink. ‘And, uh, I may also have asked for Henry to want me back so that I would be free of heartbreak.’
