Grandma dissolves into tears.
‘Before she what?’
‘Before she left. And now it’s gone. Broken, and I cannot fix it. I will never be able to fix it.’
My eyes scan the large room, counting out the dolls. Including Felicity, there are twenty-five of them. One a year for twenty-five years.
Mum was twenty-five when she got pregnant with me.
That can’t be a coincidence. Shit, was I something to do with why she left Matilda and Jack?
I’m not sure I even want to know the answer. It never does any good to dwell on the past. But suddenly I’m really, really curious.
‘Um, why … why did Mum leave?’ I ask lightly, the crawling sensation already making its way over my head. I clench my fists and ignore it. ‘I mean, she never talked about her life here, about you or Granddad Jack. Was it … ’ My voice goes unusually small. I swallow. ‘Was it because of me? Was it my fault she left? Because, you know, she was pregnant with me?’
Grandma meets my gaze, blinking as if she had momentarily forgotten I was in the room. She takes a sharp breath, removes her specs and fiercely wipes the tears from her eyes with her embroidered hanky.
‘Of course not, Jessica,’ she says, speedily dabbing at her nose and attempting to be brisk. ‘Your mother left home because she … she wanted to be independent. It wasnothingto do with you, dear. Nothing at all. You mustn’t think that.’
I frown. I don’t want to push her and I really don’t want her to cry any more, but … something doesn’t add up.
‘But … if she left home because she wanted to be independent, then why did you guys never speak? Why haveweonly just met? Why—
Grandma interrupts me with a gasp. ‘Goodness, is that Peach I can hear? Is she … is she calling for me?’
I scrunch up my face. I hear nothing.
‘Yes. Yes, I do believe I hear Peach.’ Grandma picks up the pieces of Felicity and clutches them close to her chest. ‘She must be very unwell. I must go and see to her right away.’
‘Wait—’
Grandma ignores me, dashing out of the room super quickly. From the hall she calls, ‘Rest up, dear. We have a busy week ahead. Lots to do!’
If I wasn’t already sure that Grandma was hiding something about my mum, I’m certain of it now.
And I’m going to find out what it is.
