Jamie catches up with my power-walk, stumbling slightly on a grid. ‘With your project? You don’t want to even try to take things more seriously with me because of that guy you’re hanging out with for your project. Frost? Was that his name? The guy you’retricking?’
I stop again and put my hands on my hips. ‘No, it’s nothing to do with that! And even if it was – which it isn’t – that’s none of your bloody business.’
We reach the door. Jamie goes to get it for me, but I dart in front of him and yank it open furiously. I spin round to face him.
‘Say yes to Kiki,’ I sigh. ‘Maybe she can give you what you need.’
‘Kiko.’
‘Kiko then. Look, I like you, Jamie. Ireallylike having sex with you, but this − ’ I indicate the pair of us − ‘is . . . is nothing more . . . and it never will be. It’s time to cool things off.’
Jamie stands there in the lobby. He doesn’t say a thing. Just glows with anger? Embarrassment? High blood pressure? I don’t know.
I can’t bear to be there with him any longer, witnessing this unasked-for change of heart. It makes me feel horrible and guilty and, well, really fucking confused.
‘You − you didn’t stick to the rules, you turd,’ I spit, my voice breaking unexpectedly.
Then I run up the stairs two at a time, tripping over twice in my heels, and let myself into Grandma’s, leaving Jamie staring forlornly after me.
What’s happening? First I get weird attractions to Leo and then Jamie gets weird feels for me.
It must be a full moon tonight. Maybe all this odd behaviour has something to do with the tides and the stars or some shit. I hurry over to the upstairs hall window and peer out into the night sky desperately. But the moon is not full. It’s just a boring old crescent moon.
I creep down the hallway of doom, which is now completely empty of junk and no longer doom-like, up the stairs and into my room. Angrily stripping off my clothes and underwear, I have a quick shower, towel-dry my hair and climb into bed beside Mr Belding. The sooner I can get to sleep, the sooner these unsettling feelings will bugger off.
But sleep doesn’t come for ages. I even go back downstairs and make myself some lightly warmed milk, but it doesn’t work. Then I listen to some gentle sounds of the ocean on my iPhone, but that doesn’t work either. I end up lying awake, tossing, turning, thinking, stewing and wondering until the early hours of the morning.
