‘You!’ I shout, pointing at him. If I had a vein in my head it would be throbbing right now for sure! ‘Yooooou. Seth! Queuejumper!’
He screws his face up, trying to place me. Without my bumbag and with my curls tucked into the beret, he doesn’t have a clue who I am. He steps out from under the canopy, into the rain, to get a closer look. ‘Sorry, do I know you?’ he asks, a quizzical look on hisdumbface.
‘Watch me piddle?’ I hiss furiously, marching up to him and yanking off the beret so he can see who I am ‘Really?Really?’
His jaw falls open and he does an actual, audible gasp. With big round eyes, he starts to shake his head in astonishment. He’s pretty much doing a replica impression of me last night, you know,when I saw myself onnationalTV.
‘It’s you! Wow.’ He steps cautiously closer to me, like he’s approaching a bear or some other badass kind of animal who might kick him in the goolies at anymoment.
The rain splats down on his head. The blonde woman, still under the canopy, gives me acuriouslook.
‘Seth?’ she calls over. ‘Is everythingalright?’
Seth looks back at her. ‘Sharon, um… thanks for breakfast. I’ll call youlater,okay?’
He puts his arm out into the street for a cab. One immediately screeches up. The woman looks a little put out at my interrupting the two of them but, after giving Seth a kiss on the cheek, gets into the cab andzoomsoff.
He turns back to me. ‘Hi. Um… I didn’t think I would ever see you again. This is… awkward.’ He looks around as if searching for anescape.
‘Yeah. Awkward!’ I say, my voice all high-pitched. ‘You humiliated me on live television. You used me for a joke! Howcouldyou?’
‘Umm…’ Seth grimaces, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. ‘I… I don’t know what to say… I’m, um, actually in a bit of a rush right now I have tobesome—’
‘Oh no you don’t!’ I cut in furiously before he tries to slink away. ‘You can explain yourself. And apologise! People have been stopping me all morning shoutingWatch Me Piddle.I pull the beret back onto my head with a tug. ‘I have to wear this hat so people don’trecogniseme.’
Seth looks skywards and the rain starts to properly come down. No longer a drizzle but chubby cold raindrops plopping down atspeed. ‘Shit.’
Ha! I feel a dart of joy. Of course he doesn’t have an umbrella. This guy doesn’t charge his electrical equipment before taking trips, he jumps queues, he thinks women want to have sex with him in airplane bathrooms, he steals people’s likeness and manipulates it for a TV show.Of coursehe doesn’t have anumbrella.
‘Can I just…’ he says, shuffling forward and ducking his head down to try to get underneath my brollywithme.
‘No way!’ I say, taking a step backwards. ‘You don’t get to share myumbrella!’
His eyes widen. He flings his arms protectively over his head, as if that will be any use. ‘Seriously? I’m going todrownhere!’
I shrug. ‘It’s the least you deserve.’ I lift my chin. ‘I won’t keep you long. I just want to say that I think you’re a horrible person. I was really scared on that flight and you used it for jokes. And now everyone in Manhattan seems to recognise me! How many people even watch that show? It seems likeeverybodydoes!’
A proud little smile lifts the corners of his mouth, before he quickly realises how inappropriate that is and puts it back into astraightline.
A drop of rain falls off his hair into one of his eyes and hewinces.
‘It’s only rain,’ Iscoff.
‘I’m wearing hair gel!’ he protests, blinking quickly. ‘Itstings.’
I sigh. It does sting when you get hair gel in your eye. As someone who used mousse every day during her teenage years, I’m only too aware of the pain that product in eyes cancause.
I don’t want him to goblind.
Isuppose.
‘Just get under, already,’ Igrumble.
He dives quickly under my umbrella. He’s much taller than me so he has to stand there with bended knees. All at once, his stoopid face is really close to mine and I notice that his eyes aren’t blue, like I thought. But more like a pale turquoise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with turquoise eyesbefore.
Another drop of water falls from his eyelashes and onto his jaw which, I notice, is covered in a light golden stubble that you can’t see unless you are mere centimetres away. It seems to shimmer. It must be the water or the sunlight or something. It looks like little flecksofgold.
I must be staring because the next thing I know Seth has leaned in so close that I feel the heat of his breath on my face. ‘Hello? Olive? Earth toOlive?’
