I know him! I think proudly. Well, Iknewhim. For one ridiculous, crazy week. The best week of my life,really.
At the thought, my heart blossoms and breaks in equalmeasure.
As the show draws to a close, I feel my stomach flip over when the cast do the final sketch and it’s one that I recognise. Holy moly. It’s the Pizza Flap sketch I helped to write! It’s a little different than it was the day Seth came up with it; tighter, funnier, but the fact that they used some of my ideas makes me burst with delight. Wow. What afeeling!
As the end credits play, I peer out of the window. We’re passing through Manchester town centre full of people in suits, staring at their phones, looking harassed by the busy traffic, walking a mile a minute, in a rush to get where they’regoing.
I think of Birdie, not rushing anywhere. Completelystill.
Life is short. Unexpectedlyshort.
Before I know it my hand flies out and I press the bell so that the busstops.
I’m not at the hospital yet, but I get offanyway.
There’s something I need to do. And if I don’t do it now, I might never do itatall.
* * *
‘Quit?’Taller Joan gasps from behind the fish counter. ‘You wanttoquit?’
‘Hand in my notice, yeah,’ I correct as Tall Joan puts her hands to her cheeks inshock.
‘But…why?’
I hold out my hands. ‘I think it’s time for a change,’ I explain. ‘I’ve been working here for a long time and… well, I’m pretty sure it’s not my passion. There are other things I’d really liketotry.’
‘Well!’ Tall Joan says, wide-eyed. ‘OliveBrewster!’
I bite my lip, worried that I’ve offended them both after they’ve been so kind to me. But then Taller Joan bursts into noisylaughter.
‘Well thank buggering buggerforthat!’
I blink. ‘Um,what?’
‘We’ve been fretting for a while now, wondering how we could let you go gently,’ Tall Joan says, leaning her elbows onto thecounter.
‘Let me go?’ My mouthdropsopen.
‘We haven’t needed you here for a long time,’ Taller Joan explains, two spots of colour appearing on her cheeks. ‘I don’t know if you noticed, but we’ve not been getting enough custom for three staff. No offence, love, but you’ve been a bit surplus to requirements for about eightmonthsnow.’
I look between the two of them, unable to believe what I’m hearing. ‘Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me?’ I ask. ‘Why didn’t you justsackme?’
Tall Joan looks at her feet. ‘Well, we love you, petal. And working here is all you’ve done for so long. We worried you’d panic if we letyougo.’
‘And you stay indoors so much, at least by working here you got to natter with us or the customers daytoday.’
I feel a little spark of anger in my chest that, what, I’ve been a pity hire? They should have told me! I’d havebeenfine!
But then I think back to me before New York. Obsessed with my routine, living firmly within my snug little comfort zone. They’re right. I would have freaked out. I would have gotten another job that I didn’t want for security’s sake. I would maybe have had a panicattack,even.
‘Oh!’ I say,quietly. ‘Wow.’
‘You look different today, love,’ Taller Joan says, squintinghereyes.
‘Have you changed your hair?’ TallJoanadds.
‘No,’ I say, pulling them both in forlonghugs.
