Suzy rummaged around the hall closet until she found what they both needed to stay warm. Once they were fully outfitted, she made sure her phone was in her jacket pocket then led way to the barn.
“Can you tack up a horse?” Suzy asked.
“Been a while, but I think I can manage.”
She showed her the tack room before heading down the wide aisle to Lane’s newest crew members. “You can ride Ginger. She’s super sweet. Lane picked her out for Parker.”
Heather snorted. “If Parker can handle her, I think I’m good.”
Suzy chuckled at the idea of her barely-one-year-old nephew riding such a large animal. But if he was anything like his father, he’d be on the pretty horse sooner rather than later. “Let me know if you need help.”
Grabbing what she needed, she ducked into Daphne’s stall. “Hey there, girl. How are you?” She lifted a hand for the animal to sniff before running a palm over her smooth back. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. How do you feel about a little exercise?”
As if understanding the question, Daphne neighed and bobbed her head up and down.
“Perfect. Let’s get you ready.” She lost herself in the familiar task of brushing the horse then placing the saddle pad and blanket on her back. Once the saddle and bit were in place, she led the horse outside and walked her in a circle a few times before tightening the girth.
Heather walked Ginger out and repeated the same process before climbing on the beast’s back. “Lead the way.”
Suzy hopped up and swung her leg over the saddle. “Let’s go behind the house. There’s a stunning view of the mountains.”
“Umm, we’re not riding there, are we? I’m down for fresh air but my skills need a nice, even trail or something.”
“No, it’d be way too cold. I figured we’d loop around the meadow then head back. Not too far.”
“Perfect.”
Suzy took the lead, filling her lungs with the crisp mountain air. It’d been too long since she’d taken a few moments to just enjoy the land, the place she once called home.
A jab of pain nestled in her stomach lining. Most of the memories of this place were filled with harsh words and mind games. Growing up with a father who took pleasure inflicting pain had been a mine field, especially without a mother to love her. Lane stepped in as much as possible to take the heat when their dad was angry, but he couldn’t shield her from everything.
Especially once Lane took off, leaving her alone with a monster.
“Tell me, why are you single?” Heather asked, breaking into her thoughts.
Suzy followed the bend in the narrow trail and stared into the far-reaching pasture beyond. Light frost dusted the long blades of grass and coated the cattails clustered in a shallow ditch. As tempted as she was to respond with some generic response about not finding the right guy, something urged her to say more—to dig deeper. Maybe it was knowing as much as she did about Heather’s ex, or maybe she just wanted to claw out of the mountain of depression that was her dating life. Either way, she didn’t want to toss out some bullshit that didn’t matter.
“Well, that’s a good question. I’ve had a few relationships, but I always pick the wrong guy.”
Heather snorted out a laugh. “I understand that.”
Suzy glanced over her shoulder and screwed her lips to the side. “Most women usually do.”
“What’s wrong with the ones you’ve gone after?”
“They always leave. No matter how good things are going, there’s something better they run after. A job, a dream, another woman. I’m never enough to keep them around.” The admission weighed on her shoulders. She always thought she’d marry one day, have a family.
But that fantasy slipped further away every day.
“Sounds like you’re finding men who are searching for more, and chances are they’ll never be happy until they settle the demons within themselves. Find peace first, a relationship second. At least that’s what I think. I know it sounds hokey, but that’s why I left Mason. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough to make him happy. I woke up and realized I’d wasted years of my life trying to change a man who didn’t want to change himself.”
“That doesn’t sound hokey at all, but how do you find a man who’s ready to settle down? Isn’t that the age-old question? I mean, honestly, I could make a fortune if I knew that secret. I’m seeing a whole series of best-selling self-help books.”
Heather grinned. “I’d buy one. But what I realized is it’s not about searching for the man who already has his life in order, it’s about getting my own life in order. Putting together the pieces of my own dreams and being fulfilled with what I choose to have around me. Whatever happens from there will only bring more happiness, and if that’s a man who makes things better, great. And if that man walks away, I’ll be fine. Because I’m still living the life I built for myself.”
The words hit a soft spot in Suzy’s heart. She’d spent so long thinking she was the problem—the reason why the men in her life either didn’t show up the way they should or didn’t show up at all. Maybe if she shifted her perspective, it’d help her to see herself differently.
Help her build the life she wanted now, no matter who else was in it.
