“And Justin, Ben, and Addison have an intimate relationship all the way around.Justin’s the alpha.Although Ben submits to Justin, he also dominates Addison.”
“What do you think about that?”I asked.“Justin and Ben having an intimate relationship?”
Jamie’s gaze never wavered from my face, and I admired that about her.“It’s twofold.From a psychological perspective, I have a hard time wrapping my head around how it works.How a Dominant can submit to another Dominant.”
“You don’t believe there’s a paradoxical possibility that there can be submission within dominance?”
She cocked her head to the side as though considering this.“Well, in all fairness, it does seem contradictory.”
“Maybe.”Since I was currently battling that exact scenario, I didn’t have a decent argument, so I waited for her to continue.
“However, I do believe everyone has sexual needs and desires.It’s possible those can vary from situation to situation.So, yes, it’s feasible.”She picked up her fork, waved it over her plate.“Would I like to dig into their psyche to understand the dynamic?Sure.Like I said, I find it fascinating.The two men love one another and can offer each other something the female cannot.And the same goes for Addison.She gets something different from each man.”
“It’s not conventional.”
“Who says it should be?”she countered.
“A lot of people.”I wanted to ensure she knew that most people didn’t agree.
“Yes.Maybe.Those who are misinformed or lack information on the subject, maybe,” she agreed.“Those who haven’t had the opportunity to understand what drives a person.”
“Like your brother?”
Her eyes dropped to her plate.“Yes.”
I leaned forward, regarded her closely.“Jamie, you understand this lifestyle is frowned upon by a lot of people.They don’t understand all aspects of it.”
Her gaze lifted to mine.“True, they don’t.But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
“I agree.However, you’ve been exposed to a group of people who aren’t shy about their needs and desires.I know your brother’s open about it, takes no shit from anyone.He can handle the pressure, though.The question is, if it’s something you learn about yourself, are you willing to live the lifestyle?To be subjected to the scrutiny of those around you?I think that’s an avenue you’re not considering.Just because people are members of a BDSM club doesn’t mean they want their desires to be publicized.They go to Dichotomy because they feel safe there.They know they can express themselves without contempt from others.”
She seemed surprised by my observation, but it only took her a few seconds to come up with a response.“You’re saying I’m walking a slippery slope by wanting to interview them?That I’ll be infringing on their privacy, extorting their desires?If they believe in who they are, what they want, why can’t they stand up for it themselves?”
“Easier said than done,” I told her.“If it were that easy, there wouldn’t be a proverbial closet.There are a lot of people who still live in it.Gay, bisexual, transsexual… It’s not always about not accepting themselves.It’s about fear others won’t.It may not beasfrowned upon in some places, but that’s not the case everywhere.”
Jamie stared at me, as though trying to read between the lines.“You sound as though you have experience with that.”
“Perhaps I do.”
She nodded but didn’t probe where I expected her to.“Do you hide who you are?”
I laughed, then nodded toward the tiramisu.“Certainly not.I’m loud and proud.”
“And what areyoulooking for?”she asked, swinging her fork in small circles.
“As in?”
“A relationship?You mentioned you and Edge share submissives.Is that what you’re looking for?A relationship like Landon and Langston have with Luci?”Her head slanted just a fraction.“Or one like Ben, Justin, and Addison?”
“I’m not necessarily looking for anything.I don’t practice the lifestyle full-time.I don’t have a need to have a pet, as you referred to it.Some Dominants do, and I respect that.I’m not one of them.”
“So you haven’t defined what your happily ever after will look like?”
“No.Have you?”
Jamie took a bite, her eyes closing briefly as she savored the dessert.I watched, my body warming instantly.
“I have not,” she said after she swallowed.“I’m like you.I’ll know it when I find it.”
