“Yeah.” A long, drawn-out sigh blows out between us. “I’m beat, let’s talk tomorrow night. We’ll have dinner,” he whispers before rolling over and putting his back to me. “Good night, sweetie.” It’s only seconds and he’s back into rhythmic snores once again.
I try not to cry. But the loneliness creeps in, and I can’t shake it. I hadn’t anticipated falling back in love with Golden Harbor. But being near the ocean again, with old friends and familiarplaces, had me feeling more like myself than I’ve felt in a long while.
And I’ve missed me.
Sneaking out of bed, I tiptoe to my jewelry box and pull out the gold necklace with the green heart-shaped sea glass. My mind is flooded with the memory of when Beck gave this to me. Our first wedding anniversary. Back then, I never took it off. Not even when I showered. I clasp the hook at the back of my neck and wrap my fingers around the smooth rock as I slip back into bed.
West is right—we do need to talk. But I’m not sure he’s going to like what I have to say. If he truly loves me and still wants to marry me, he’ll agree to the break I’m about to ask him for. I need time and space to figure out what I want to do. And what is best for Charlie. And right now, my heart tells me that’s being in Golden Harbor.
We’ve been back in Seattle less than twenty-four hours and everything feels off. Or wrong. I feel off and wrong. Physically, my body is here, but my heart is somewhere else entirely.
The noise, the rain, the busyness. It’s all too much. And I’m fairly certain my body is reacting to the dampness in a way I never noticed before.
Charlie is happy to be back to see her friends before school ends for summer vacation. But she looks sad. She misses Beck. Itell myself that I don’t. I couldn’t possibly. And he has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to get back there in a hurry.
I told Beck I was only coming back to Golden Harbor for a week to finish packing up Dottie’s house and to spread her ashes, but the truth is, I don’t know how long I plan to stay.
The loneliness is still here today, ebbing through my veins as I work and chip away at my full schedule of clients. All regulars except for one. I’m not even sure how that one managed an appointment when I’m typically booked three months out.
One of my clients is an elderly woman with almost white hair and is wanting a perm. While the chemicals are working their magic, I step outside to catch a breath of fresh air. Only, it’s raining so I have to stay under the covered awning and the only people out here are my smoking colleagues. Hair stylists in downtown Seattle must be the only remaining smokers. It’s like stepping into a ’90s grunge music video.
So much for a breath of fresh air.
I return inside and plop down on one of the chairs in the small shared kitchen where some of us hide from clients and scarf down our lunches in between back-to-back appointments. But I can’t eat. My stomach has been upset since the popcorn I ate on the airplane had me throwing up last night.
Tugging my phone free from the front pocket of my apron, I see a few texts from Stella. A smile pulls at my lips. I’m glad we’ve rekindled our friendship and now it’s her name I see on my screen.
Stella
Ran into Beck at Seashell’s this morning. He’s down bad
I’m sure he’s missing Charlie
Stella
No way. That was a man down bad for a woman
Doubtful
Stella
So?? You break up with Mr. Richy-Rich yet??
I never said I was breaking up with him
Stella
Fine. Are the two of you on a break yet?
What are we sixteen?
Stella
Worked for Ross and Rachel
Did it though?
Stella
