“Oh.” My mouth goes dry as I stand and cross my arms like I need to prepare myself. “And? What are you gonna do?”
Her gaze lifts to meet mine and I catch the uncertainty in them. “I don’t know.”
“C’mon, Rosie, you gotta give me something.” I pace in the bedroom. “You must have an idea of what you want to do.”
“I don’t.” She shakes her head. “I’m too exhausted to think clearly right now.”
“No shit,” I sputter. “Since you let me in there while you were taking a bath.”
“Whoa.” She straightens, propping herself up in the bed. “What does that mean?”
“That you’re not thinking clearly. You’re engaged to another man but then you asked me to stay in there…while you took a bath.” I stop pacing and throw my hand up. “And I think I know why.”
“Yeah? You think you’re so smart, huh?” With her eyes narrowed, she shields herself by pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. “Okay, tell me why.”
“Because,” I shout. “Because I think you still have feelings for me.”
The look on her expression shifts, almost like she’s been punched.
“Just admit it.”
“So what if I do?” she cries out. “So what? You still have feelings for me,” she accuses.
“I never said that,” I bite back.
“No? Then tell me otherwise.” She lowers the blankets and rises to her knees. “Tell me you don’t still love me.”
“You tell me you don’t still loveme!” I holler back, stopping at the foot of the bed.
“You’re the one who’s still holding on to a marriage that hasn’t been anything more than a piece of paper in seven years.”
With my hands clenched in fists at my sides, I open my mouth, but then clamp it shut again, my heart hammering in my chest.This could be it, Beck. This could be the moment you finally admit your feelings and set this life on track again.
“Mama?” Charlie’s voice sounds out and I whip around and find her standing in the open doorway, squeezing her stuffed mermaid to her chest.
“Hey, baby girl. You okay?” Rosie asks.
“I’m okay.” She rubs a clamped fist over her eye. “Are you okay, Mama?”
“Of course, Beck was just getting ready to go. He got me some tea and plugged in my heating pad for me first.”
“Daddy, do you really gotta go?” Charlie asks, and the question nearly splits my chest in half.
I crouch in front of her and take her little hand in mine. “I do. But I’ll try to come by tomorrow. To see you and check on your mom.”
“Okay.” She wraps her free arm around my neck, giving me a hug.
“Now, why don’t you go cuddle with your mom. I’m sure it will do her some good.”
“I like the sound of that. Come up here with me, Charlie.” Rosie opens the covers, and Charlie runs over and crawls into the bed with her.
“I’ll check in with you tomorrow,” I announce.
Rosie dips her chin. “Thanks.”
I turn and walk out of the bedroom, not able to look back for fear it’ll break me. “Good night,” I mumble over my shoulder before I rush down the hall and stairs. Leaving my family is more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Except they aren’t mine.
And maybe that hurts the most.
