“Fine,” I huffed. “But at the first sign of anything strange or fishy, I’m getting out of there.”
“Please,” Chelsea scoffed. “No one is going to ever hurt my niece, not while I’m around. The first sign of something fishy, and we’ll all be there, knocking down the door.”
Without another word, she ended the call, and Anna stirred in her stroller. I pushed her forward, moving toward the front door of Sunshine Academy. I’d hoped she’d sleep a little longer so I could ask my questions uninterrupted, but as weapproached the entrance, her dark blue eyes blinked open. Her little gloved hand reached up to wipe her face before she smiled up at me and motioned for me to lift her.
“Soon, baby. Give Momma a couple minutes, and I’ll snuggle you for the rest of the day.”
As my daughter babbled to herself, a brunette woman with a bright grin pushed open one of the glass double doors. “You must be Kinsley and Anna. I’m Victoria. We spoke on the phone.”
I held out my hand as I tried to direct the stroller inside. “Yes, hi! It’s so nice to meet you in person.”
Victoria moved to the side to help me, showing me the entryway to the center. It was cozy, set up with a couple of lounge chairs and a bunch of toys for the children. Murals lined the walls, making it seem like we’d stepped inside an enchanted forest, from the wooden shelves to the faux branches, leaves, and fairy lights lining the ceiling. The entire place seemed magical, and it even mesmerized Anna. I unbuckled my coat and tucked it under the stroller, and Victoria smiled down at my daughter. The moment of peace broke, and her face crumpled as she let out a loud wail.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “Anna gets a little fussy if her nap gets cut short. I also should check—she might need to be changed.”
“No problem,” Victoria beamed, pointing to the other side of the room. “There’s a table in there if you need it.”
Grabbing my bag, I changed Anna into a dry diaper and then rejoined Victoria out in the hallway. As I approached the center’s director, her youthful appearance stood out even more. How old could she be? Not much older than me, that was for sure. She pulled her dark hair into a tight ponytail and wore casual yet professional slacks and a flowy shirt. Victoria seemedeffortlessly stylish, and it made me tug on the hem of my shirt, praying there wasn’t a hole in the armpit.
My insecurities wrapped around me like a sweater three sizes too small, especially when Victoria beamed down at my daughter. Anna reached out, making grabby hands she usually only reserved for me. Don’t get me wrong, she adored spending time with Chelsea and Mark, but I was used to being her person, the one she wanted to hold her at all times, the one she searched for in every room.
“Do you mind?” Victoria said as she stepped a little closer, holding out her arms. “The best part about this job? The extra baby snuggles.”
“Oh,” I said, holding Anna a little tighter. My little girl didn’t like that one bit and squirmed to get closer to this new woman. “No, that’s okay. You don’t have to.”
Victoria nodded in understanding. “It’s hard, isn’t it?”
I blinked back at her. “What do you mean?”
“Letting someone else in. A stranger.” Victoria let out a long breath, pushing a couple of errant hairs away from her face. “I own this place, and it was still hard to drop off my son. Literally went into my office and cried for an hour.”
Her honesty made some of my defenses drop. “You’re a mom?”
“Yup,” she answered. “I have a daughter, Emilia, and a son, Zachary. If you decide to enroll Anna, she’ll be in class with my little guy.”
Anna started fussing again in my arms, desperate for a bit of freedom. She couldn’t walk yet, but the girl was determined to be as independent as possible. Victoria waited by my side, and I sighed. “Do you mind taking her for a little bit?”
“Not at all.” Her resulting grin told me she spoke the truth. I passed Anna over, staring as my little girl’s face morphed from a tear-filled frown into an all-consuming grin.
“How did you?—”
Victoria beamed back at me. “Oh, trust me, my son’s the same way. I can hold Zach for hours, and nothing will soothe him, but my husband walks into the room? The kid’s a goner.”
As Victoria led us through the hallways, I couldn’t help but steal peeks at Anna curled up in her arms. A tug-of-war broke out in my chest, stuck between wanting to retrieve my daughter and studying Victoria to learn her soothing ways. The woman was a natural with the kids, and all the ones at the center seemed to adore her. Even the teachers welcomed her into their rooms, and she answered every question I asked, no matter how ridiculous. When I found out we were meeting with the director, I almost expected some buttoned-up suit who spent their days locked behind their desk, but from the way Victoria entered the rooms and joined the activities, she clearly spent more time interacting with the kids than anything else. That eased a bit of my nerves, glad to see how each classroom held so much joy. Art projects covered a wall, all sloppily done but hung with pride. Even the babies’ room had decorations that the students must have made, different hand and footprints lightening up the otherwise neutral tones.
And the entire time, Victoria swayed with my baby, talking to her in a cheery-sing-song voice. Anna’s eyes searched the room, especially when the other children came around to greet us. The familiar nudge of motherly guilt overwhelmed me as she stared at them. Had she ever hung out with kids her age before? Thinking about it now, she was always with adults. It wasn’t like we had a large extended family with cousins and friends to play with. God, Chelsea was right, and she would never let me live it down.
After we toured all the rooms, Victoria brought us to a quiet office at the end of the entryway, lined with pictures of children and enough drawings to fill a museum. I took it all in as I satin the chair opposite the desk, soaking up the positive energy buzzing around me.
Don’t get me wrong—I loved being a mom. From the moment Anna was born, she became my everything. But it was also hard fucking work, especially doing it on my own. I’d never regret my decision, but as I stared at the framed family photos behind Victoria’s desk, I couldn’t help the jealousy that crept over me.
“Okay,” Victoria cooed to Anna in her lap. God, this woman’s ability to multi-task put everyone else to shame. “On your application, you left Dad’s information blank. I have to ask—is he involved?”
My throat closed as my eyes darted to my daughter, taking in the features I knew all too well. She was a clone of Jace, from her blonde curls to the deep ocean depths of her eyes. Even her smile made me think of him, remembering how it shifted from his crowd-pleasing smirk to something secret—genuine—just for me. The memories were still ones I held close to my heart, even though a bitter resentment washed over them when I thought about what happened afterward.
Oh, well. I’d tried to contact him, and, barring showing up at the stadium and shoving Anna in his face, there was nothing more to do. After all, he was the one who blocked me and didn’t even want to listen to what I had to say. It was his loss. Anna deserved a family who wanted to be around her; if Jace didn’t, it was on him.
Forcing away my resentment, I shook my head. “No, it’s just the two of us.”
