Whatever argument he’d been about to make died instantly when he stopped a few feet away, obviously noticing the car I’d been about to climb into. “What the fuck is that?”
He choked out the words, eyeing Amber’s little slug-bug sitting between Alex’s Bentley and Nate’s Range Rover. I sighed. “It’s a car.”
“No.” He scoffed down laughter. “That’s a toy or something. All I know for an absolute fact is that it isnota car.”
“I left the Cullinan in Wisconsin for Adeline and the girls,” I muttered, shoving my briefcase into the passenger seat. “They needed a reliable car while I was gone, not this horrible thing.”
Jesse stared at me, his lips parted and his brow puckering. “You traded a half-million-dollar SUV for this?”
“It gets good gas mileage,” I said, not really knowing why I was defending it. “Plus, it got me here and that kept them safe.”
Jesse started laughing so hard, he braced a hand against the hood of Nate’s Rover. “Sorry. I was just imagining you driving that thing all the way here from Wisconsin. It’s hilarious.”
“I’m going to run you over with it if you keep that up,” I muttered, but that only made him laugh harder.
“Well, you can try, but I think its top speed is forty miles an hour. Max. By the time you get it started and turned around, I’ll be all the way back in my office.”
I paused for a beat, but then I shrugged. I couldn’t argue with that. “Yeah, that’s fair.”
As I relented, it was like I gave permission for the weight of everything that’d happened today to crash into me all at once. Waking up to Alex’s phone call. Being discovered in bed with Adeline. Learning that her kids had grown up with our story. Driving all the way here in the fucking bug. Even that argument upstairs with Alex, who I’d honestly thought would advocate for me.
Jesse’s laughter faded. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
I hadn’t meant to be honest with him, but Jesse had been trying so hard lately to forge a connection with all of us again, and honestly, I was beyond trying to play it off like nothing was bothering me. I’d been doing it for years and the truth was that I wasn’t okay.
“I’m tired of this, Jess,” I admitted finally. “I’m so fucking over it. For years, everybody’s been asking me why I don’t date seriously, why I never wanted to get married, and why I practically live at the office. Like there was something wrong with me because I didn’t move on.”
He squinted at me. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“There is. I watched the love of my life get ripped away from me,” I said roughly. “Then I found out that she was miserable theentire damn time. She suffered immensely because of the same fucking marriage system our family swears by.”
“Adeline got shoved into a marriage that was wrong for her,” he said after a minute. “I won’t argue with you about that. I just want to know why you’re bringing it up now.”
Because the guilt lived in my chest for so long that it feels permanent now, like scar tissue wrapped around my ribs.I shoved both hands through my hair and shook my head.
“I’m not doing that to her again,” I said firmly. “I’m not treating this like another setup or just another contract. She deserves better than that and I’m going to give it to her.”
I waited for him to argue, to tell me I was being irrational, emotional, or reckless. I expected him to remind me that what needs to be done isn’t always the same as what we want. Already bracing myself for impact, I was wound so tight that I nearly shattered when he spoke again, taking me completely by surprise.
“Yeah, you’re right.” He slid his hands casually into his pockets and cocked his head at me. “Does that mean you have a ring already?”
I blinked hard. “What?”
“Oh my God,” he said, grinning like a maniac. “You really don’t know how obvious you are, do you?”
I just stared back at him, standing there like he had all the answers in the world. “No, I don’t. I’m not obvious. What are you even talking about?”
“A ring,” he repeated slowly, enunciating every word like he thought that might help me understand better. “For the proposal you’re clearly planning in your head. You’ve said multiple times today that you want to do it right, which means you want to go down on one knee and offer her a ring. So I’ll ask again, do you have one yet?”
CHAPTER 34
ADELINE
Lu sat on the front porch steps in her tiny pink shorts and one of Jennifer’s old camp T-shirts, her arms wrapped stubbornly around her knees as she stared down the driveway. Even Bear was morose, sprawled out beside her like he needed an emotional support kid for himself.
He looked as miserable as the child.
