He tugs on my hair before trailing his fingers down the back of my ear and along the length of my jaw. His knuckle tips my chin up.
“It’s the only piece of information I wasn’t expecting. The rest isn’t a concern for me. You’re not a member of the Havoc organization, regardless of your familial ties to Wesley, which means that I can’t be punished for this. And you need to have more faith in the team. Whether or not Finn is upset doesn’t carry weight out on the field when I know he can keep his personal feelings from interfering with the game. The same goes for your brother. Telling Evie, however, is my priority.”
Dread pools in my gut, sitting heavy and cold. “Do you think she’ll be upset with me?”
I should have told her the other night. It was the perfect time, when it was just us three girls and we were sipping expensive wine and gossiping. But I didn’t. I kept it inside because I was too nervous that maybe Roman wasn’t ready for that, and knowing his relationship with her, I didn’t want to be the one to say something. That was for him to do, as not only her uncle, but seemingly the only father figure she’s ever had.
Maybe I made the wrong call.
“No. If she’s upset with anyone, it will be me for not coming clean earlier.”
“I don’t want her to think I was pretending to be her friend to get closer to you.” I go to pull back, but he pinches my chin before I can, holding it steady. “That’s not true at all.”
“You don’t have to explain that to me. I believe you.”
“She’s like a happy bonus, you know? Like when you start dating someone, and the first time they take you home, you learn they have this adorable, floofy golden retriever named Skip or a room full of cuddly cats,” I ramble, fumbling. “Not that I see her as a pet. That’s absolutely not what I meant. She’s a person. A really, really amazing person, Roman. She’s my friend.”
His chuckle kisses my lips. “Let me take you home, baby.”
“Home. As in . . .”
“Mine.”
37
ROMAN
I’m tryingto be calm.
I’ve bitten my tongue so hard it’s bled and chewed my cheek raw all to keep from asking her for further confirmation that she’s really okay. My palms are so slick that I’ve avoided reaching across the car to grab her hand and instead have gripped the steering wheel so hard I may have new calluses from all the rubbing.
She’s in one piece, and the singular tear track I noticed has dried. I said far too much to her and bared more of my soul than I ever have, all because I couldn’t control my panic. The thought of finding her in far worse shape than I did drove me to madness the entire drive from Kellan’s house.
When I accepted the invite to my very first extracurricular night with the team, I thought it was going to build some sort of necessary bridge between me and them that would build Brielle an easier path from one to the other. That hope was the lone reason I agreed to join them in the first place when I’ve been so adamant on keeping them at arm’s length. Maybe I should have waited until she was there with me to take that step. That way, I wouldn’t have had to eavesdrop on a call I had no business listening to in hopes of hearing her voice for even half a second.
If I hadn’t overheard the hurt and panic in her voice, I wouldn’t have lashed out at Finn when he told me to calm down and exposed myself to my players in a way I’ve never done before. He backed up the moment I told him to get out of my way, and thinking back on it now, he was only concerned and not outright attempting to block me from going to find her.
“You listen to this song? Since when do you play music while you drive?”
I clear my throat. “What?”
“The song you chose? I played it for you the other night.”
“Right.”
“How did you know the title of it? I didn’t tell you what it was.”
Avoiding looking at her, I drum my fingers against the wheel and adjust my posture. “I searched the lyrics.”
“You do know that that makes you, like, kind of obsessed with me, right?”
“I’m glad to know that you are finally picking up on that.”
My eyes snap to where her fingers fall to mine and begin uncurling them from the steering wheel. Once they’re free, she interlocks them and brings our hands to her lap. I struggle to focus on the road. She’s stroking my knuckles so softly, like she’s scared if she presses too hard, I’ll fall apart.
“What other songs did you look up?”
I nod to the cup holder in the console where my phone rests. “Take a look.”
