“Say that again, please.”
“Don’t make this into a huge deal, Evie.”
“But it is a huge deal! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for there to be another woman in your life for you to focus on? This is monumental, and you’re not allowed to shut me down so easily.”
“I’ll always focus on you.”
Sighing, she straightens and comes deeper into my office. “Can you at least tell me where you met her?”
“Work.”
“Ooooh.” She nods like she’s just had a revelation. “Is it a guy?”
A startled noise escapes me. “What?”
“What do you mean,what? You don’t work with many women, so I’m just asking. How many baseball asses do you see on a regular basis? I wouldn’t blame you. Plus, you’re being pretty shady right now. You’ve never been a good liar.”
“I’m not interested in men, Evie.”
“Alright. But there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it if you were. Even if you liked both, I wouldn’t care,” she adds, eyeing me a bit too closely. “I’d still love you just the same.”
I shake my head and drag a hand down my jaw. “While that’s a very nice sentiment, I’m straight.”
“Fine, I believe you. Now, tell me who the mystery woman is who managed to get you out of your officeagain? And don’t try to deny that you haven’t been out with her multiple times before last night. You’ve been out late quite a few nights recently, and a late-night rendezvous clearly means things are going well.”
“If you’ve known this entire time, why just bring it up now?”
“I was hoping you’d tell me yourself. Clearly, that wasn’t the plan because this was, what, the third time? Fourth? It’s got to be pretty serious now, you know, with the third-date rule.”
My wince is audible. “Don’t allude to that.”
“It’s dating etiquette, isn’t it? Just because I haven’t been on one before doesn’t mean that I don’t read. I know the important stuff. There are entire blogs dedicated to dating. Not to mention magazines.”
“We’re not having this conversation, Evie. When there’s something to share, you’ll be the first to know. I promise.”
“I’m twenty-one, Uncle. I’m not going to combust at the mention of going to the bar or having se?—”
“Nope!” I shout, stumbling to my feet. “We’re done talking about this. Please.”
Pain clots my blood like poison as I watch my niece roll her eyes. “See? This is the problem. This is why you need a girlfriend. At least I’d have someone to talk to about all of this.”
Without waiting for a reply that I can’t even piece together, she stalks out of the office.
There are so, so many things I did in Evie’s teen years that I regret, but I know that I couldn’t have changed or done better at the time. I was ill-equipped when Lena died. Suddenly, I went from living alone as a thirty-five-year-old bachelor to having a sixteen-year-old girl crying herself to sleep in my spare room and a million things she needed that I didn’t know how to give.
I was her uncle and was always around when she was growing up, but I was no father. Parenting was a foreign concept to me, and by the time I had to learn, Evie was already so old and figuring out shit on her own. The life lessons she needed were supposed to come from Lena. Dating, hormones, and socializing as a teenage girl were all things I didn’t know how to explain to her. Not to mention, I was so busy grieving that even if I could have figured it out then, I wouldn’t have attempted to.
Instead, I bundled her in bubble wrap and kept her close enough that there was no way she’d wind up getting hurt. I may have lost Lena, but I wouldn’t lose Evie. The teenager who was so suddenly living under my roof was a direct line to my sister. She has her turquoise eyes and the same witty sense of humour that I’d spent a good chunk of my life trying to replicate before giving up and accepting the blunt quietness I was born with.
Looking back on those years now, I can see the million ways I went wrong. I don’t have a time machine, though, regardless of how badly I wish I could go back and fix my mistakes.
Sheltering her when it came to going out and dating is my biggest regret. Especially now that she’s twenty-one and lacks the knowledge to do so safely. The night I found her at the club still haunts me when I close my eyes at night.
If it hadn’t been for Brielle, I don’t know what I would have done in that situation.
I drop back into my office chair and grab my phone. There’s a definite lack of messages on my part when it comes to the text thread with Brielle. I think some part of me assumed that if I held back this way, I could keep some sort of boundary in place.
It was a pathetically stupid idea.
