“That’s not fair.”
“Here we go again,” he scoffs. I hate the sound. “No, what’snot fairis asking me to act like I don’t know you when I knowexactly how you taste at three in the morning. What’s not fair is watching you smile at some other person when—” He stops himself, jaw clenching.
“When what?” I push, even though I know I shouldn’t. Even though this is dangerous territory.
“When it should be me.” His words are barely above a whisper.
Suddenly, the kitchen feels too small. Too hot. He’s too close and not close enough, and I can’t breathe.
“Darcy—”
“No, you asked. So I’m telling you. It should be me making you laugh. Me knowing how you take your coffee, and not thanks to the barista who knows everyone’s orders. Me meeting you after work and hearing about your day.” His eyes are blazing now, all the careful control gone. “It should be me, and we both know it, but you’re too scared to?—”
“I’m not scared.”
“Liar.” He says it softly, which somehow makes it worse.
“Stop calling me that. I hate lies. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I? Then tell me—do you feel anything for her? Kennedy. The perfectly nice carpenter who checks all your boxes and doesn’t come with any complications.”
I open my mouth. Close it. Can’t find the right words.
“That’s what I thought.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking exhausted. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. I do. I’m the wrong person at the wrong time with the wrong life and?—”
“Stop,” I plead, but he doesn’t relent.
“—and you’re right to keep me at arm’s length because I can’t give you what you need?—”
“Peter, stop.” The use of his first name freezes him mid-sentence. “You’re not wrong. You’re not—” My voice cracks. “This isn’t about you being wrong.”
“Then what is it about?”
How do I explain it? The fear. The certainty that anything this good, this intense, can’t possibly last. I’ll ruin it somehow. He’ll realize I’m too messy, too broken, too everything.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I finally admit, gesturing between us. “I don’t know how to be whatyouneed.”
His laugh is humorless. “What I need isyou. That’s it. Just you. The woman who talks a mile a minute when she’s excited. Who brings the wrong tools to job sites because she got distracted. Who ordered Leo’s favorite cake two weeks in advance and pretends she doesn’t care much.” He takes one more step, close enough I can feel his warmth. “You think, what? You’re too much? Or you’re not enough for me? You’reeverything.”
I can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can’t do anything but stare at him as my heart tries to beat out of my chest.
“The thing is,” he continues, voice rough, “I meant what I said. I’ll follow your lead. If you want professional, I’ll be professional. If you want friendly, I’ll be your friend. If you want me to stand here and watch you build a life with someone else, I’ll do that, too, even though it’ll kill me.” He reaches up, like he’s going to touch my face, then drops his hand. “But I need you to be honest. With me. With yourself. What do you actually want?”
“I—” The words stick in my throat.
“Outside, everyone.” Neve’s voice calls from the doorway, making us both jump. “Leo’s about to make his speech.”
We stare at each other for one more loaded second, then Darcy steps back, the inches between us suddenly feeling like miles.
“We should go,” he says, voice carefully neutral again. “Don’t want to miss it.”
He walks past me, and I let him go, frozen in place as I try to remember how to breathe normally.
By the time I make it outside, everyone’s gathered around the fire. Leo looks surprisingly at ease, given his anxiety, but it’s further proof of how comfortable he is here, with these people. Of course, it also helps that he’s got Neve tucked under his arm as he’s mid-speech:
“—never would have imagined this. Any of this. This place, these people, this life. I came here because I needed to figure out who I was without work defining me. Turns out, I’m someone who’s lucky enough to have found home in the last place I expected.”
His eyes find Darcy’s, and something passes between them. “Lucky enough to have my best friend visit us. Lucky enough to meet the woman who changed everything.”
