“After today?”
“Nae only after today.”
That gave Isobel pause for a moment.
Ava drew a breath that scraped her throat. “I cannae do this anymore.”
Her father said nothing. He only watched her with that grave steadiness that had made her tell him the truth since she was little.
She forced herself to say it plainly.
“It wasnae only the cliff. It wasnaeonlywhat happened there. It was everything before it, too. The distance, and then the kindness, and then the distance again. Wanting me, then retreating. Speaking of an annulment, then acting as though I ought to understand without being told anything. I have tried, Isobel. I have tried so hard.”
The tears came again, but she did not stop them this time.
“I stayed when I could have gone. I stayed again when he gave me cause to leave. I tried to understand what sort of man he was, what he meant, what he feared, what he wanted from me. I have tried hard enough already.”
Isobel’s face had turned red with anger. “That great idiot.”
Ava closed her eyes briefly. “Please, daenae try to defend him.”
“I am nae defending him. I am deciding how best to kill him.”
That almost coaxed a broken smile from Ava.Almost.
Her father leaned forward in his chair. “Lass, if this is truly what ye want, then ye will have a place to go.”
The support in it nearly undid her more than anger would have.
“It is,” Ava said, even though the words hurt. “Because if I stay now, I shall only humiliate meself further. I cannae go on being wanted in one breath and rejected in the next.”
Isobel made a furious sound and turned away, then back again. “Ava.”
Ava’s throat tightened. “I ken.”
“Nothing I can say can stop ye, can it?”
“Nay.”
Her answer did not waver. That was how Ava knew it was real. She’d had enough.
She looked down at the half-packed trunk, at the open drawers, at the dresses laid out on her bed. Her father rose carefully fromhis seat and came to stand beside her. He did not touch her at first. He only looked at the trunk and then at the bed and then at her face again.
“Then we shall get ready to leave,” he said.
Isobel muttered a curse under her breath.
Ava pressed both hands flat to the trunk lid and nodded once.
For the first time since Ciaran had walked into her life, she stopped waiting for him to choose her and chose instead to leave before he could hurt her again.
Ciaran didn’t know exactly when his hands began to shake, but he only noticed it when he closed the study door behind him.
He hated that most because it was so small and so visible. Blood on his sleeves, he could ignore. Mud on his boots, he could ignore. But a hand that would not stay still, that was too much.
He crossed straight to the sideboard and poured whiskey without measuring. All he could see now, as the drink burned down his throat, was Ava’s face on the cliff.
He drank again.
