My pride is soothed a little. I never explained myself to any man other than my father, and I don’t know what’s tempting me to explain myself to Viktor. "Believe it or not, Viktor... I don't pay for sex. I don't pay for men."
"Then why pay for me, Valentina?"
I look out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the gray skyline. "You were peculiar. I could feel your sadness from miles away."
"Sadness is not something new in this world, Valentina. Nor at those auctions."
"But you were different," I sigh. "It was... magnetic."
He grimaces. "So... a ten-million-dollar charity case?"
I shake my head. "No. I’m not a saint, Viktor."
"So you do not know why you bought me?"
Exactly.
"Not really. I think it’s just the first time in my entire life that I've ever done something genuinely good."
He massages the back of his neck, looking bewildered. "I thought you would chain me," he murmurs. "I thought you would hit me. I did not expect... this."
"And that's exactly why this complicates things," I say as the sobering chill finally wins the battle against the fire in my veins. "Because of your past, Viktor... I don't think a sexual relationship can happen between us."
"Valentina—"
"No, listen to me," I interrupt. "I’m not the type of person who uses sex as a transaction, even if you claim you want it now. I'm bad, but not that kind of monster. Think of these three months as a gentle start to your freedom, Viktor. A transition. You just exist."
It’s going to be hard to resist him. But I have to. Because fucking him would feel good in the moment, but the aftermath would leave me questioning everything I am. I won’t go far enough to say that the spontaneous decision to buy him is something I regret, but it’s definitely confusing.
He shakes his head slowly, a dark look crossing his features. "You are only hiding behind your pride."
And maybe I am. But in the end, that’s my decision to make.
"Let us make a deal. Please. Just allow yourself to be around me. We can watch the television and eat the ice cream, exactly like yesterday," he begs.
I hold his stare, my heart hammering against my ribs.
"But if tension rises between us," Viktor murmurs, licking his lips, "let it. If I did not want it, Valentina, I would not be approaching it. I am a grown man."
I am so close to throwing him onto the table and having my fill of him. Getting him out of my system. Goddamn it, he’s dangerous. I push my chair back and stand up, wanting to put distance between us before he sucks me back into his orbit.
"We will see," I say.
I turn on my heel and walk out of the dining room before he can say another word, rushing toward the elevator to leave for work, my mind already completely consumed by the fire he left behind.
Chapter Ten
Valentina
The papers in front of me are a mountain—it’s an endless sea of text. I absolutely cannot afford to fantasize about Viktor today.
Viktor kneeling by the edge of my bed. Viktor whispering against my inner thighs. Viktor licking me, fucking me while he—
I slam the thick file down onto my desk.
"God fucking damn it," I mutter, shoving my hair back from my face.
I can feel my shitty day slowly but surely getting shittier when the intercom on my desk buzzes.
