Wow, I can’t believe he’s noticed that. Is my brother becoming self-aware?
“But what happened, it’s done. It’s over.” I turn away from him so he can’t see the sting in my eyes.
God, we haven’t spoken about this in years. Slices of memories make their way into my psyche each day, but over the years they’ve gotten less frequent. I’ve been too busy to think about what happened when I lived here in Texas. The affair. If you can even call it that. I mean, it was technically. But that would mean both parties were consenting adults. And I was seventeen. Too young. Too naïve. Idolizing a man who relished in our power imbalance.
And here I am, after all the work I’ve done over the years, after everything. I still agreed to upend my life and my future for an older man who just asked me to. Alfie has my reputation, my work, my ability to graduate in his big dumb gorgeous hands, and I just want to scream at how stupid I’ve been. Agreeing to everything, the stalking, the TV show, the lying. God. What am I going to do? I need to call him. But say what? I have no idea where to go from here. I have no idea what to say.
He wouldn’t understand. I’ve indulged him because of my feelings for him. I like him a lot, and not just as a boss or as a friend. Seeing him become more relaxed and carefree on these little excursions has made me see him in a new light. And that’s dangerous right now. I can’t afford to let my emotions cloud my judgment. Not again.
“I’m going to quit.”
“Okay. I support you one-hundred percent with whatever you do, but I want it to be for the right reasons. So why exactly do you want to leave so close to your graduation?”
“Levi, please don’t ask questions. I’m not ready. I don’t even know myself. I just know I’m not happy anymore, and I don’t want to stay.”
He huffs like a horse that’s getting sick of being pulled around by its reins. It’s a warning shot.
“You gonna come back home?”
I hesitate. Where else could I go? But people hate me here. Would coming back be harder? “I don’t know. I need to finish up with school and apply for some jobs.”
“Yeah. And if you came back here, you’d be the topic of conversation for the next year given what went down when you left. I get it. It’s not ideal. But Mr. Cor—” He stops himself, flicking a bit of lint off his leg. “That manleft after everything happened. Never heard of since. Kind of like you.”
I look away. I want to talk about my past even less than I wanted to talk about Alfie.
The door creaks open, and my niece walks through, holding two cookies. She hands me one and takes a bite of the other.
“Annie. That’s your third one.” My brother crosses his arms in a futile attempt to look tough. “You’re gonna be running around like a headless chicken later if you have any more sugar.”
Annie laughs, cookie crumbs spraying from her mouth. Kids are gross. “Headless chicken.There’s no such thing as a headless chicken. Silly Daddy.”
“I know, baby. Daddy is so silly, right?” he croons. “Let me finish up with Auntie Mia. Then we’re all going out for dinner later tonight.”
“I’m not up for dinner,” I say quickly, diving my head under the covers.
“Not a request. Get in the shower and, for God's sake, clean the dried-up drool on your cheek. You’re a mess, and you're a goddamn doctor.”
I peek out from my hideout.
“Not yet, I’m not.”
He waves me off before snapping open the curtains, allowing the laser sunbeams to penetrate my eyeballs.
“Argh!” I scream, causing Annie to keel over in a fit of giggles. Levi bends to pick her up, smiling.
“Semantics. You’re a genius. They should just give it to you now.”
My brother isn’t one to blow smoke up anyone's ass without reason, and I know, in this instance, the reason is that he wants me at that dinner. Despite understanding he’s manipulating me, it works.
I haul myself out of bed. My muscles aching from lying down for too long.
“Atta girl.”
“Yeah, atta girl, Auntie Mia,” my niece parrots.
“Your boots are in the closet,” he says.
And with that, I’m alone again.
