???
“We need to lay some ground rules,” I say, mostly to myself as we make our way down Lottie’s driveway, the trees thickening as we lose sight of the street.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Firstly, we need to come up with a story as to why you’re here tonight and why you’re wearing that outfit.”
“I don’t understand what you have against this outfit.”
I look down at her again, the tight fabric fighting against her curves until I force myself to look away.
“If you’re okay with it, I think we should pretend that we’re dating. Social media already thinks that’s the case, and my friends have been hounding me about you ever since the Vincent incident.” The words slip out as if they were carefully curated and well thought out. It couldn’t be further from the truth. My friends know we’re not dating. Our group chat has been very much trying to force me into the dating stage with Mia, mostly against my will. And yet here I am, trying to do the very same thing to her.
“You want me to be your fake girlfriend?”
“Not girlfriend-girlfriend. Just dating…casually.”
“I’m not really a casual kind of girl.” Her body twists to face me and I keep my eyes ahead, my hands ten and two on the wheel.
“On the date with deadbeat David, you said you were on dating apps…being casual.”
Her cheeks pinken before her face breaks out into a grin. “Yeah, I was kind of saying that to annoy him. He was drooling over Dr. Buckingham; I was trying to save face.”
“So you’re not dating anyone?”
“When exactly would I have the time? I work full time with you, I’m finishing my PhD, and I work at the crisis center. Oh, and I’m now protecting you in my free time to make sure Iget a job before my reference ends up in prison for stalking his patients.”
“Is that what you’re worried about?” I feel my eyes widen. Her tone suggests she’s joking, but she must have at least thought about it to bring it up.
She shrugs. “Listen, I don’t want to get all deep and trauma dump, but in my experience, older men just let you down—"
“I’m not that old.”
“Okay, I’ll rephrase. Men olderthan mejust let me down. I don’t trust that I’m going to get a good reference from you. I don’t trust that you’re not going through some midlife crisis—”
“Not midlife yet, but thanks.”
“…that you’re going to blow up your entire life just because you need to control every aspect of it, including your patients. I need you to keep your shit together, Alfie. I know this sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but just trust me, okay. I have my reasons for being paranoid about this.”
The therapist in me is dying to know more and work through those issues. Absent father, perhaps? At this point, Mia hasn’t given me any indication that she doesn’t know her dad, but then again, when would she have brought it up? I had met a few family members of hers, but from recollection, it was only her mother and one of her brothers.
“I’m not going to blow my life up, I promise. And…listen, if you want to talk about those reasons you don’t trust older men, then we can talk through it. Or I can recommend an excellent therapist to help guide you.”
“Thank you, I’m good. I’ve done my therapy, and I’m mostly over it.”
That remains to be seen.
“Do you really want to lie to your friends?” she asks softly.
I could admit that they know about her already and they know we’re not dating. I could tell her I wanted to protecther from Caleb and Jonesy, who are both single. Not that I’m particularly concerned with Jonesy; he seems to only have eyes for one red-headed, prosecco offering woman. But I don’t do that. I double down, knowing that if I can pretend to be dating her, I can act like I’m dating her. Feed into the fantasy I’ve kept at bay for some time now. Just for a while, then I’ll come clean.
“I think it would be better if we kept to one narrative. We’re dating; we have been for a few months. When the time is right, we can agree to separate and part as friends.”
She squirms in her seat. “I don’t know about this, Alfie.”
“I know I’m asking a lot…I should have told the officer we weren’t together, but I panicked and I didn’t want him to question why we were there.”
“No, I get it. And I get why you’re asking me. But if this blows up, it’s not going to blow up in the face of the man who has his own TV segment, his own practice, and however many years of his career under his belt. It’s going to blow up in mine. And…I can't have that happen again, Alfie.”
