“Yeah, baby, small blessings.”
“Do you know when I’ll be getting out of here?”
“A few more days. They want you to meet with the physio. Make sure you can move around on your crutches and in the chair. Get you practicing walking up and down stairs and then you’ll be good to go.”
“Did you tell them my house doesn’t have stairs?”
I grin. “I was going to, but the nurse kind of scares me. Besides, my house has steps.”
She swallows hard, turning away from me for a moment so she can swipe away a tear.
“Mia?”
I brace myself, my fingers gripping the side of her hospital bed so she can’t see.
“You really hurt me,” she whispers.
“I know.”
“I’m really mad at you.”
“I know that too. Can I tell you what I was going to tell you when you agreed to meet me at the ice rink? Or do you need more time? Because I can wait, Mia. Fuck, it’s killing me, but I’ll wait forever for you if that’s what you need.”
Her chin wobbles, the tears freely rolling down her cheeks now. But she nods, brushing away the tears.
“I’m in love with you,” I say as I hear her inhale sharply. “I think I have been for a long time. And I’m not talking for months, I’m talking longer than that. I think it’s been true since the moment I met you. I know you don’t realize it, but you’reterrifying,Mia. Everything you mean to me, every moment we’ve shared, you joining me on following patients around,hell, everything. Me and you, it was always going to happen. Everyone could see it.
“But I thought I wasn’t allowed to have you because I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want to have the relationship my father had with my mother. She was miserable and lonely, and it hurt all of us. I thought if I just focused on one thing and put everything into that, then it would be okay. I wouldn’t disappoint anyone. And after what happened with one of my first patients, it just confirmed that my focus can’t wane. Not for a second. But you make me want to let go of the reins. I’m happier. You make me a better person, and in turn, a better therapist. But that’s not a reason for you to be with me. I know that.” I take a deep breath, steadying myself because if I fuck this up now, I know it will be over. She won’t change her mind, and I need her to know, I need her to know that I’ll do anything I can to make her happy.
“Then what is?”
“Because I love you, and you love me. And people make mistakes, and I have no doubt that I’ll make more in the future, but there is no future that I can see that doesn’t have you in it. And if you decide that I pushed you too far and that you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’ll accept it, Mia. I promise I’d never do anything that would make you uncomfortable or scared. But just know that I’ll love you forever, and I’m so fucking sorry. My bones ache knowing I hurt you. I regretted it immediately. I know I was pushing you away because I was scared. But I’m not scared anymore. When I realized you were missing, I was inconsolable. I turned into a monster. I would have done anything to get you back. You know that, right?”
She nods, tears streaming down her face. She reaches out her upturned hand, and I slip mine into it, bringing it to my mouth so I can kiss the inside of her palm. The small gesture, theconsent to touch her has my shoulders sagging with relief. I can breathe, finally.
“Even wedgie someone?”
As if this perfect woman can make me laugh at a time like this. “Yeah, love, I was close to wedging one detective in particular, but Lottie managed to intervene.”
“So I should be thanking her then.” She grins.
I roll my eyes, but she squeezes my hand, her eyes losing her laughter lines. She’s silent for a moment, so I continue with my speech.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now. But would you let me stay here? I can’t bear the thought of being away from you.”
“You can stay,” she murmurs, shifting in her bed. “Forever, if you want?”
“Yeah?” my voice huffs out. My cheeks feel damp, and her fingers swipe away the tears as I close my eyes, my body untensing. It’s like I’ve uncoiled after being pulled taut for too long. The springs rebound to a normal position.
“Come here,” she whispers, and I perch on the side of her bed, careful to avoid her leg as I throw myself over her like a blanket. My nose runs up the column of her neck, and I breathe her in, allowing myself to fully touch her for the first time in over a week.
I kiss her neck, her cheeks, her nose, everywhere until she eventually pulls my face to hers so she can crush her lips against mine.
“I was coming back to you at the ice rink. I was always going to come back. I don’t want to run from our life together. You needed time, and I needed to take a step back and let you work through those issues.”
“I have a meeting with a therapist next week.”
“Dr. Adams getting a therapist, eh?” She smiles. “I think that’s a good idea.”
