“My mother. My father’s colleagues. People I cannot afford to—” When he continues, his voice is quieter. More careful. “Do you have any idea what today looked like?”
“I know.”
“Do you? Because from where I was standing, my fiancée walked out in front of everyone.” Still quiet. Still even. The restraint is somehow worse than if he’d shouted. “I need you to help me understand what happened.”
I curl my fingers around the phone. “I couldn’t go through with it.”
“Youcouldn’t?”
“I needed—I didn’t feel—” The words I have are wrong. Every version of the sentence I build in my head dissolves before I can say it.
I felt like I was disappearing.
I haven’t recognized myself in years.
I wore the dress you told me to wear, stood in the flowers you chose, looked at the sign your mother made, and couldn’t find a single thing that was mine.
“I panicked,” I say instead.
“You panicked? That’s what you’re going with? After everything I’ve done.” His voice drops lower, and something in my chest responds to the drop the way it always has. “After all the planning. Do you know what my mother is dealing with right now? Do you care?”
I press my hand flat against my knee. “Of course I care.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“I know how it looks.”
“Who are you with?”
My hand tightens. “A friend.”
“Which friend?”
Oh fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He’s going to explode.
“Griffin,” I finally answer in a whisper. “Noah’s friend.”
“I know who he is.” The evenness cracks, just for a second, then seals back up. “You’re with him?”
“That’s not—it’s not like that.”
“I didn’t say it was.” There it is, the technique I’ve never been able to argue with because he never said the thing. I just heard it. “I find it interesting that on the morning of our wedding, you managed to find yourself in a car with someone else.”
My face is hot. “I was running. He happened to be there.”
“Hmm.”
“There’s nothing—”
“Piper, I’m not accusing you of anything.”I’m just making sure you know that I noticed.“I’m trying to have a conversation with you about what happened today.”
I sit with my mouth closed.
“Are you coming home?” he asks.
