“What you smiling at?” I questioned, walking over to her and giving her a kiss.
“You.” She smiled. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I stroked her hair.
“For choosing and loving me.”
“Truth be told, I didn’t choose you. You chose me.”
“And I’d choose you again, in this life and the next.” I leaned forward, pressing my lips into hers, and she blushed.
Gliding the portable tray closer, I wiggled the mouse on the laptop that was sitting on top of it and opened the Netflix app. I went to our watch list and pulled up all our marked movies. Forever loved watching movies on her laptop instead of the big ass television mounted on the wall.
“What we watching tonight?” I asked her, and we shared a look before we both busted out laughing. “Mea Culpa it is.” After pulling the movie up, I started to ease next to her on the bed, but she hit me with those puppy dog eyes, making me laugh.
“Why you looking like that?”
“Can you get me some rocky road ice cream?” She poked her bottom lip out.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “You finished the rest of it the other night so I have to run out to the store to grab some more. I’ll be right back.”
“Yessss! Thank youuuu.” She smiled.
“Don’t start the movie without me.” I kissed her on the lips then when I started to pull back, she tightened her hold on me and deepened it. That shit made my heart palpitate because she never kissed me like that before. “I love you,” I told her.
“Forever.” She winked.
I gave her one last look before leaving out the room and going to the kitchen to grab my keys and phone from off the counter.After I let Becca know that I’d be right back, I quickly left out the house so that I could hurry up and get back. The closest store to us was ten minutes away, but without the night traffic I got there in six. Knowing the store like the back of my hand, I grabbed the ice cream along with some nonfat whipped cream and was good to go. I made it all the way to the checkout line when I realized that I didn’t have my wallet. Leaving the items behind, I jumped back in the car and drove back to the house in record time.
The minute I crossed the threshold I knew something was off. It was like the house had an emptiness to it. Silence loomed in the air as I headed toward the back to check on Forever before I ducked back out to the store. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Becca emerge from the room, medicine tray still in hand, and a somber mien.
“I’m so sorry,” her voice cracked as I pushed past her and stepped inside the room.
“Nah…Nah, man; please! No!”
My heart sank deeper into my chest the closer I got to the bed. Tears clouded my vision as I stared at my now lifeless wife, laying there with her eyes closed and head slumped over to the side. I felt frozen in time like my whole entire world had came to a complete world stop.
“No, no, no!” I yelled, shaking Forever’s limp body. “Baby, please don’t do this to me. Pleaseeee! I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to live without youuuu. We had more time—I thought we had more fuckin’ time.” My shoulders shook as I cried. This shit was killing me, and all I could do was hold her.
The warmness of her body told me that she was literallyjusthere. Just alive and breathing. Just sitting in bed, waiting for me to come back with her ice cream for our movie. I’d only been gone less than 20 minutes then just that fast, in a blink of an eye—she was gone. The crazy part about it was something inside of me told me that she knew that it was coming. Becca called 911so that we could go through the proper channels to get them out here and remove her body. It took about ten minutes before they arrived and I was numb. I couldn’t move; I just screamed out for my wife. I felt like I was losing my fuckin’ mind. How was I going to tell Butterfly that her mother was gone? When I finally got out of the paramedic's way, I mustard up enough energy and called Jaz, Rome, and Gizelle. I needed them here when it was time to talk to my daughter. She was going to need all of us to get through this. Forever and I agreed that we would have a private service, and she already had a list of people that she wanted me to reach out to. This was something that I'd never experienced before in my life, and this woman was the best part of me. I would always cherish the memories that we’d made together.
EPILOGUE
One Year Later
Life had been kickingmy ass. Nothing, and I did mean nothing, could’ve prepared me for losing my wife. That woman came into my life like a thief in the night and somehow became my air. One minute I was used to being alone, used to moving how I wanted, breathing how I wanted, then suddenly everything in my life revolved around her. And now she was gone. I’d been having a hard time coping. Truthfully, I don’t even think I was coping at all. I just woke up every day existing. I did what I needed to do for my daughter to be there for everything she needed. On the outside looking in, I was the perfect dad. I was even on the PTA board. I’m not going to lie, my daughter was flourishing out here. She played flag football, which was the cutest shit I’d ever seen; she did dance, and even had an interest in art, and she was good at it.
I was basically wearing a double mask. After I showed up for Butterfly, I was right back drowning in my bullshit. Depression had been eating me the fuck up, and alcohol became my best friend. Most nights I drank until I either passed out or cried, and I can’t lie, sometimes it was both.
I haven’t painted shit in over a year. Not a fucking thing. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, and every time I picked a brush up, I thought about my wife. I thought about the way she used to stand in my studio wearing one of my t-shirts with her hair wrapped up, quietly watching me work like I was creating magic or some shit. I thought about how she used to leave little affirmations, which was how she got my ass in the first place. I was going to miss those letters she would send me. Even after I found out who she was, I still made her promise to keep sending me my letters and she did. I still went back and read those letters; that was one of the ways I stayed close to her. Every time I read them, my heart ripped open. The shit fucked with me so bad.
I sold my old house after she died because it was like I was suffocating in there, and me and Butterfly needed a new start. That beautiful girl missed the hell out of her mama, but on most days, she handled her grief better than me. The one positive thing that I could say was our circle showed up and showed out for us. Jaz was always here with us; sometimes she just popped up on us and stayed for a few days. Then other times she just came down to pick up Butterfly and took her back to New York. Zelly still stayed with us a few days a week, and Butterfly loved it when she did.
Things with my parents still weren’t back to normal, but we were healing. Me and my pops sat down and talked. He apologized for all the things that I addressed, and told me how he wanted me to be his son regardless of my blood. He hated the fact that I was biologically Cedrick’s kid. I personally didn’t have any real feelings about dude because I didn’t know him.
My pops would always be my father, and as a man that’s raising a child that was not blood related, I had a newfound respect for his position. Aside from becoming a millionaire, another positive thing that came from Cedrick, was that I wasable to build a friendship with my half-brother, Avante. We were still doing our best to figure things out, but right now he ran the day to day of our hotel chains. Once I got my personal shit together, I’d step in. For right now, it was best that he took the lead.
“Bruh, what are you doing down here?” Jaz asked, walking into my entertainment room.
