“No,eww. Gross. Absolutely not. I’m asking about your intentions. You’re recently out of a marriage and newly exploring your sexuality. You’re also unemployed and, last I checked, living here on a temporary basis. You’re my brother, but Nix is my best friend. He’s had a massive crush on you for as long as I can remember. If this is a fling for you, then you need to end it quickly and leave so I can pick up the pieces.”
I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten a lecture about dating from Russ before. “It’s not like that. Nix is special. Yeah, all the other stuff you said is true, but I’m working on it. With Nix’s help. He’s made all the difference in my life.”
“So what are your intentions?”
I roll my eyes at his phrasing, but his facial expression says he’s not backing down. “I love him,” I blurt out.
“Whoa.” Russ sits back on the couch and rubs his hand over his face. “I didnotexpect that.”
“Me either.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Yeah, I meant it. He’s incredible. I know you’ve known that for a long time, but I’m just realizing how true it is.” From the gangly kid who used to follow me around the house, asking amillion questions, to the incredible man who’s spent his free time helping me study for my certification exam, Nix has been with me in some way nearly my entire life. This might be a new chapter for us, but I think I’ve loved him in some capacity for years.
“Does he know that?”
“Not yet, we haven’t…”
“Well, then I guess you know what you’re doing tonight.”
And just like that, I have a romantic date to plan.
20
CHASE
“Do you think you have time for dinner tonight?” I do my best to act normal when I ask Nix.
“Did you have something in mind?” He looks up from the computer at the front desk. “We both know Russ will eat anything.”
“This would just be the two of us.” That’ll tip him off that something happened.
“Chase, is everything okay? What did he say?” Nix looks up at me, concern written across his face.
“No, it’s not like that. He’s good. He knows everything. I just thought we could use a little alone time. Actually, Russ suggested it.”
“Russ suggested that we ignore him and get dinner ourselves?”
Yeah, I didn’t think this all the way through. “Yes?”
“Chase—”
“Please say yes. I’ll arrange everything.”
“I’m saying yes, but only because I’m curious.” He sighs and starts to rearrange the stack of bookmarks on the counter.
“Great. Can I get your keys?”
“Here.” He holds out a gold key to me, one that’s shiny and new. “I had this made for you.”
“The key to your house?” I take it and flip it over a few times.
“Yeah, I figured you should have your own. This way, you can come and go. Sorry. Was that too presumptuous?”
“No, it’s just the right amount.” I’d been concerned that maybe I was imagining things. That Nix didn’t reciprocate my feelings. A crush is different from being in an actual relationship. Now that he’s seen behind the curtain, he might feel very differently about me. I don’t know that I’ll stop thinking about it until I hear the words come out of his mouth, and, even then, I’ll probably keep worrying. At least for a while. But telling him how I feel tonight? No doubts.
“Is seven okay?” I ask.
