“I know what ye meant.” Edward almost smiled. Almost. “See that she gets an extra measure of oats. She earned it.”
He went inside. Took a bath. The water was hot, and he sat in it until it was not. He thought about nothing.
No, that was a lie.
He thought about Valeria, because that was all he thought about now, and the nothing he was aiming for was just the space between one thought of her and the next.
CHAPTER 24
Valeria woke up alone.
She knew before she opened her eyes. The silence was different. When Edward was in the room, the air had weight. Now, it was light. Empty. The chair by the fire was pushed back. No coat. No boots.
She sighed and sat up. The blue dress was in her wardrobe. The white mask on her dressing table. The candle had burned to nothing.
She rang for Mary, who came with the expression she wore when she had information she was debating whether to share.
“The Duke went riding at dawn,” she revealed. “He told the stable boy he would be back for luncheon.”
“Did he?”
“North. Along the ridge.”
A two-hour ride. The kind one took when one needed to be alone with one’s thoughts, and one’s thoughts were not good company.
“Shall I draw you a bath, Your Grace?” Mary asked.
“No. I shall go to the garden.”
“The garden is muddy.”
“Then I shall be muddy.”
“Your wedding dress is being pressed today. If you get mud on it, I will resign.”
“You have threatened to resign every week for three years, Mary. I no longer believe you.”
“One day, I will mean it.”
“One day, I will let you.”
They looked at each other. Neither of them meant a word of it.
Mary left.
Valeria put on her boots and went to the garden. She needed to do something with her hands that was not clutching a teacup and pretending she was not thinking about a man who was somewhere in this house, pretending he was not thinking about her.
He had come back. He had promised, and he had come back. He was here, riding along ridges and eating meals at the far end of tables and being polite and pleasant and completely, devastatingly absent.
There was coming back, and there was being present. They were not the same thing. She was learning that now.
He came back for luncheon. Sat at the far end of the table. Was polite. Pleasant. He complimented the menu. Asked Caroline about the baby. Asked John about a fencing match. He dismissed the incident with Peter as a misunderstanding between old friends, with the smooth assurance of a man who had spent twelve years lying to people for the Crown and who was very good at it.
He did not look at Valeria.
She noticed because she was watching him. Gordon had avoided looking at her when he was planning something. The silence before punishment.
Edward’s avoidance was different. Gordon had avoided her to control her. She did not think Edward would ever do anything to control her. But the distance stung all the same.
