I'm Every Woman
it's all in me
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Just knock me out. I mean it. If they won't give me drugs, get a baseball bat and hit me. This breathing is bullsh—aagh!" Kate felt the pain twist through her insides and tear her apart.
Beside her Johnny was saying "Come on . . . ha ha ha . . . you can do it. Breathe ha . . . ha . . . like this. Remember our class? Focus. Visualize. D'you want that statue we—"
She grabbed him by the collar and yanked him close. "So help me God, if you mention breathing again I'm going to take you down. I want drugs—"
And it was back, wrenching, cutting, twisting through her until she cried out. For the first six hours she'd been pretty good. She'd focused and breathed and kissed her husband when he leaned down to her and thanked him when he pressed a cool wet rag to her forehead. In the second six hours she lost her natural sense of optimism. The relentless, gnawing pain was like some horrible creature biting away at her, leaving less and less.
By hour seventeen she was a flat-out, cast-iron bitch. Even the nurse came and went like Speed Racer.
"Come on, baby, breathe. It's too late for drugs. You heard the doctor. It won't be much longer."
She noticed that even as he tried to soothe her, Johnny didn't get too close. He was like some terrorized soldier in a minefield who'd just seen his best friend blown up. He was afraid to move at all.
"Where's Mom?"
"I think she went down to call Tully again."
Kate tried to concentrate on her breathing, but it didn't help. The pain was rising again, cresting. She clung to the bedrails with sweaty hands. "Get . . . me . . . ice . . . chips!" She screamed the last word. It would have been funny, watching Johnny bolt for the door, if she hadn't felt like that girl swimming alone inJaws.
The door to her private room banged open. "I hear someone is being a total bitch-o-rama in here."
Kate tried to smile, but another contraction was starting. "I don't . . . want . . . to . . . do this anymore."
"Changed your mind? Good timing." Tully moved to the side of the bed.
The pain hit again.
"Scream," Tully said, stroking her forehead.
"I'm . . . supposed to . . . breathe through it."
"Fuck that. Scream."
She did scream then, and it felt good. When the pain subsided again, she laughed weakly. "I take it you're against Lamaze."
"I wouldn't call myself a natural childbirth kind of gal." She looked at Kate's swollen belly and pale, sweaty face. "Of course, this is the best birth control commercial I've ever seen. From now on I'm using three condoms every time." Tully smiled, but her eyes were worried. "Are you okay, really? Should I get the doctor?"
Kate shook her head weakly. "Just talk to me. Distract me."
"I met a guy last month."
"What's his name?"
"That would be your first question. Grant. And before you barrel through some idioticCosmogirl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil."
Another contraction hit. Kate arched up and screamed again. As if from a distance she could hear Tully's voice, feel her stroking her forehead, but the pain was so overwhelming she couldn't do anything except gasp. "Shit," she said when it was over. "The next time Johnny comes near me I'm going to smack him."
"You were the one who wanted a baby."
"I'm getting a new best friend. I need someone with a shorter memory."
"I have a short memory. Did I tell you I'm seeing someone? He's perfect for me."
