She stared up at the plain, high-pitched ceiling that had become as familiar to her as her own dreams. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Tully."
She rolled on to her side and stared at him, propping her head into her hand.
He touched her face in a gentle caress. "You and Kate fought about me, and I know how much her opinion means to you."
The words surprised her, though they shouldn't have. In the time they'd been sleeping together, she'd somehow begun to reveal pieces of herself to him. It had begun accidentally, a comment here or there after sex or while they were drinking, and somehow grown from there. She felt safe in his bed, free from judgment or censure. They were lovers who didn't love each other, and that made talking easier. Still, she saw now that he'd listened to all of her babble and let the words form a picture. The knowledge of that made her feel less lonely all of a sudden, and even though it scared her, she couldn't help being comforted by it.
"She thinks it's wrong."
"It is wrong, Tully. We both know that."
"I don't care," she said fiercely, wiping her eyes. "She's my best friend. She's supposed to support me no matter what." Her voice broke on the last words, the promise they'd made to each other all those years ago.
"She's right, Tully. You should listen to her."
She heard something in his voice, a barely-there quaver that made her look deeply into his eyes. In them, she saw a sadness that confused her. "How can you say that?"
"I'm falling in love with you, Tully, and I wish I weren't." He smiled sadly. "Don't look so scared. I know you don't believe in it."
The truth of that settled heavily on her, made her feel old suddenly. "Maybe someday I will." She wanted to believe that, at least.
"I hope so." He kissed her gently on the lips. "And now, what are you going to do about Kate?"
"She won't talk to me, Mom." Kate leaned back against the cushioned wall of the tiny cubby known as the phone room. She'd had to wait almost an hour for her turn on this Sunday afternoon.
"I know. I just hung up with her."
Of course Tully would call first. Kate didn't know why that irritated her. She heard the telltale lighting of a cigarette through the phone lines. "What did she tell you?"
"That you don't like her boyfriend."
"That's all?" Kate had to be careful. If Mom found out Chad's age, she'd blow a gasket and Tully wouldreallybe pissed if she thought Kate had turned Mom against her.
"Is there more?"
"No," she said quickly. "He's all wrong for her, Mom."
"Your vast experience with men tells you this?"
"She didn't go to the last dance because he didn't want to. She's missing out on college life."
"Did you really think Tully would be your average sorority girl? Come on, Katie. She's . . . dramatic. Full of dreams. It wouldn't hurt you to have a little of that fire, by the way."
Kate rolled her eyes. Always there was the subtle—and not so subtle—pressure to be like Tully. "We're not talking about my future. Focus, Mom."
"I'm just saying—"
"I heard you. So what do I do? She is avoiding me completely. I was trying to be a good friend."
"Sometimes being a good friend means saying nothing."
"I'm just supposed to watch her make a mistake?"
"Sometimes, yes. And then you stand by to pick up the pieces. Tully's such a big personality; it's easy to forget her background and how easily she can be hurt."
"So what do I do?"
