Tully felt as if she were being baptized into the religion she'd always believed in. "Amen to that."
"So, what do you know about South Africa?"
CHAPTER TWENTY
The first twelve months of motherhood was a riptide of cold dark water that all too often sucked Kate under.
It was embarrassing how ill-equipped she turned out to be for this blessed event that had been her secret girlhood dream. So embarrassing, in fact, that she told no one how overwhelmed she sometimes felt. When asked, she smiled brightly and said motherhood was the best thing that had ever happened to her. It was even true.
Yet sometimes it wasn't.
The truth was that her gorgeous, pale-skinned, dark-haired, brown-eyed daughter was more than a handful. From the moment she came home Marah was sick. Ear infections followed each other like cars on a train; just when one ended, another began. Colic caused her to cry in-consolably for hours at a time. Kate had lost count of the times she'd found herself in the living room in the middle of the night, holding her red-faced, shrieking daughter and quietly crying herself.
Marah would be a year old in three days and she had yet to sleep through the night. Four hours was her record so far. Thus, in the past twelve months, Kate hadn't slept through the night. Johnny always offered to get up. In the beginning he'd even gone so far as to throw back the covers, but Kate had always stopped him. It wasn't that she wanted to play the martyr, although she often felt like one.
Johnny had a job; it was that simple. Kate had given up her career to be a mom. Thus, getting up in the night was her job. At first she'd done it willingly, then at least with a smile. Lately, though, when Marah let out her first wail at eleven o'clock, Kate found herself praying for strength.
There were other problems, too. First off, her looks had gone to hell. She was pretty sure this was yet another ripple in the no-sleep pool. No amount of makeup or moisturizer helped. Her skin, always pale, was J. P. Patches white lately, except for the shadows under her eyes, which were a lovely shade of brown. She'd lost all of her baby weight except for ten pounds, but when you were five-foot-three, ten pounds was two sizes. She hadn't worn anything but sweats in almost a year.
She needed to start on an exercise program. Last week she'd found her old Jane Fonda workout tapes, a leotard, and leg warmers. Now all she had to do was hit play and get going.
"Today's the day," she said aloud as she carried her daughter back to bed and gently tucked her in beneath the expensive pink and white cashmere blanket that had been a gift from Tully. Luxuriously soft, it had become the thing Marah chose to sleep with. No matter what toys or blankets Kate offered, Tully's was the one. "Try to sleep till seven o'clock. Mommy could use it."
Yawning, Kate went back to bed and snuggled up to her husband.
He kissed her lips, lingering as if maybe he wanted to start something, and then he murmured, "You're so beautiful."
She opened her eyes, staring blearily at him. "Okay, who is she? Guilt is the only reason you'd say I was beautiful at this godforsaken hour."
"Are you kidding? With your mood swings lately it's like having three wives. The last thing I want is another woman."
"But sex would be nice."
"Sex would be nice. It's funny you brought that up."
"Funny ha ha, or funny I-can't-remember-the-last-time-we-made-love?"
"Funny that you're getting lucky this weekend."
"Yeah, how's that?"
"I've already talked to your mom. She's taking Marah after the birthday party and you and I are going to have a romantic night in downtown Seattle."
"What if I can't fit into any of my nice clothes?"
"Believe me, I have no problem with nudity. We can order room service instead of going out. Although you're the only one who thinks you haven't lost the weight. Try on something. I think you'll be surprised."
"No wonder I love you so much."
"I'm a god. There's no doubt about it."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him softly.
They had just closed their eyes again when the phone rang. Kate sat up slowly, and looked at the clock: 5:47.
She picked up on the second ring, saying, "Hello, Tully."
"Hey, Katie," Tully said. "How did you know it was me?"
