“Fuck.”
I say it accidentally. Billie moves, taking her now mascara stained face away from Grant’s chest, and sniffles.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No.” Her hands wipe at her cheeks. They come up with black streaks, and she groans before digging through her leather purse. “I told you about AJ. You have to tell me, too.”
She didn’t really tell us. But I don’t point that out, because I hate seeing my sister cry.
“It’s just…” I consider this is the wrong thing to tell her. I could lie.
Billie motions for me to keep going while she pulls a wipe from her bag, and I sigh. I can’t lie to her, or Grant. It’s wrong.
Bracing myself for what might happen, I twist my face together before speaking.
“Halloween is when the bar argument happened.”
She stalls.
“Oh.”
Grant whines, throwing his hands up. “Guys, I know I’m still getting into this whole sibling thing, but you need to keep me in the loop. What does that mean?”
Her hand starts to shake a bit. I’m about to hold her again and think up things to say when I give AJ a phone call. I’m realizing now why I never got a text back from him last week.
“AJ’s birthday falls on Halloween. I threw him a party this year.” She takes a long, deep breath. A light film of tears gloss over the green of her eyes, but she blinks them away and continues cleaning up her face. “That’s where I saw him kissing another girl.”
I wish I was holding something. Just so I could drop it and watch it shatter to pieces. That’s the only response dramatic enough to represent how I feel.
Every year since Billie was fourteen—after she officially confessed to me that she had plans to marry AJ—I’ve said her best friend is in love with her. I know I’m right. I’d bet my whole life on it.
I wait for Billie to tell me she’s kidding. This is all one elaborate joke, because the boy who handmade her crafts every Valentine’s Day and went to prom in a baby pink tux for her did not kiss another girl. He couldn’t have.
Billie throws everything back into her bag, shrugs her shoulders with a sad smile, and my heart drops. She’s not joking.
“We both had an eventful Halloween, huh?” She fakes a laugh and elbows both of us. Trying to lighten the mood because she thinks that’s her job.
I cross my arms and shake my head. “Don’t do that shit with me. You’re allowed to be sad.”
The inauthentic expression falters. As if she’s been given a permission slip tofeel, my sister drops her entire body and lets her voice slip into sadness.
“I’ve been off social media since that night. I have no idea what video you’re talking about.” She starts walking. Leading the way down the stone path again, head still titled down. “Tell me about it, though.”
I know what that means, too. She doesn’t want to talk about AJ anymore.
Grant throws raised eyebrows at me. I shake my head. We’ll figure out the entire story another day. I’ll shift the conversation if she wants to focus on something else.
“Rosie ran into a classmate at the bar and he was being a dickhead. I just put him in his place.”
Her head lifts only a bit. Enough for us to hear, “’Put him in his place’? You’re afraid of the dark. No one is being put anywhere by you.”
Grant booms with laughter. I roll my eyes and groan.
“I’m not afraid of the dark!”
“Anymore.”
